I get it.
Sometimes you want to scream to get people to listen.
HEY YOU.
LISTEN UP.
And, admittedly, sometimes it works.
But if your message doesn’t fit in a 280-character tweet, it can be smarter to repackage your message to engage and inspire readers.
But how?
Let me show you the 3-pronged writing strategy of a #1 New York Times bestseller, so you can apply the same strategy to get people to listen to you.
1. Kindle an emotional connection
In his book How to Be an Antiracist, Ibram X. Kendi engages readers with personal stories. This is from his first chapter:
My father, all six foot three and two hundred pounds of him, emerged from my high school gym’s entrance. He slowly walked onto the basketball court, flailing his long arms to get my attention—and embarrassing me before what we could call the “White judge.” Classic Dad.
Stories pull readers in, and make an emotional connection. Then, the author uses the stories for self-reflection:
I thought I was a subpar student and was bombarded by messages—from Black people, White people, the media—that told me that the reason was rooted in my race … which made me more discouraged and less motivated as a student … which only further reinforced for me the racist idea that Black people just weren’t very studious … which made me feel even more despair or indifference … and on it went.
I’m impressed by Kendi’s frank self-reflections. Sharing his own lessons makes it easier for me, as reader, to be open-minded and reflect on my own views and behavior, too.
Examining our own racist views is uncomfortable because most of us like to see ourselves as kind, open-minded people who treat everyone equally. By showing his own vulnerability, Kendi reassures us and shows us color-blindness doesn’t exist. We can choose to be racist or anti-racist:
(…) the good news is that racist and antiracist are not fixed identities. We can be a racist one minute and an antiracist the next. What we say about race, what we do about race, in each moment, determines what—not who—we are.
2. Connect to the bigger picture
Stories connect us as human beings. They allow us to imagine what’s it like to be someone else, to live someone else’s life, to experience someone else’s struggles. Stories might make us more empathetic.
Sometimes, telling a story is enough to connect with our audience and get our message heard.
But one story, no matter how powerful, is only one story of one person. When we connect that story to the bigger picture—to trends, data, history—our message cuts through with extra power.
Kendi connects his personal story to the bigger picture. For instance:
Racial inequity is when two or more racial groups are not standing on approximately equal footing. Here’s an example of racial inequity: 71 percent of White families lived in owner-occupied homes in 2014, compared to 45 percent of Latinx families and 41 percent of Black families.
And:
White lives matter to the tune of 3.5 additional years over Black lives in the United States, which is just the most glaring of a host of health disparities, starting from infancy, where Black infants die at twice the rate of White infants.
Kendi is a professor of history, and in his book, he puts current racist views, behavior, and policies in historical context:
Racist voting policy has evolved from disenfranchising by Jim Crow voting laws to disenfranchising by mass incarceration and voter-ID laws. Sometimes these efforts are so blatant that they are struck down: North Carolina enacted one of these targeted voter-ID laws, but in July 2016 the Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit struck it down, ruling that its various provisions “target African Americans with almost surgical precision.” But others have remained and been successful. Wisconsin’s strict voter-ID law suppressed approximately two hundred thousand votes—again primarily targeting voters of color—in the 2016 election.
Stories help readers connect emotionally, and the historical facts and research data sketch the bigger picture. But there’s a third ingredient to make your message heard …
3. Explain clearly
This is Kendi’s core message:
What’s the problem with being “not racist”? It is a claim that signifies neutrality: “I am not a racist, but neither am I aggressively against racism.” But there is no neutrality in the racism struggle. The opposite of “racist” isn’t “not racist.” It is “anti-racist.” What’s the difference? One endorses either the idea of a racial hierarchy as a racist, or racial equality as an antiracist. One either believes problems are rooted in groups of people, as a racist, or locates the roots of problems in power and policies, as an anti-racist. One either allows racial inequities to persevere, as a racist, or confronts racial inequities, as an antiracist. There is no in-between safe space of “not racist.”
Racism and antiracism are multifaceted concepts, intersecting with issues such as class, sexuality, and power structures. Kendi disentangles the complexity, and explains the various concepts in plain English, chapter by chapter. But his writing never becomes a dry text book because his explanations are clear and his stories engage. Almost all chapters start with and end with stories, making us eager to read on.
Stories help us connect
Stories help us connect as human beings.
We learn what life is like for someone else.
So, let’s share and listen to each other’s stories.
Because that’s the only way to build a more equal society for us all.
Book mentioned in this post:
- How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi (highly recommended)
The link above is an Amazon affiliate link. If possible, please support your local bookstore.
Recommended reading on making your voice heard:
How to make your message sticky
How vivid writing makes your message unforgettable
How to persuade a skeptical audience
Lovely and beautiful post.
Thank you, Varun.
Thank you so much for all your posts and ideas you are sharing! Especially in times of acute government racism examples like this are great and help so much on top of improving writing!
Thank you so much for your comment, Chris. I’m glad you appreciated me choosing snippets from this book on antiracism as examples.
Well, I love the examples you provide in your post. It’s a good way to set up emotional connection between speaker and listeners. All what makes us feel the same is more interesting than some abstract stuff.
Speaking of book you provided as an examples – I can’t agree with whole idea with confronting racism. I’m afraid violence breeds violence. I’m after the idea of educated society which is far above confronting, fighting and humiliation.
I’m sorry for the confusion. I do not suggest violence and neither does Kendi in his book How to Be an Antiracist. You can be a completely non-violent antiracist.
It’s okay 🙂
Keep up your great work, I love your posts
Henneke – great minds. 🙂 We were on the same wavelength in terms of being heard and racial equality. I updated a 2011 post with a similar approach ==> https://simplystatedbusiness.com/why-you-being-heard-trumps-being-liked/
What an excellent way you illustrate the value of communication and connecting in our personal and professional relationships. Thank you for sharing such a beautifully written post.
I love the quote you’ve used of Jeffrey Fry: “It is not important what is said, what is important is what is heard.” So true, and we can all listen better. Thank you for sharing.
Thank YOU, Henneke. 🙂
What a powerful lesson for all of us! You’re such an eloquent writer, Henneke. Great way to discuss the current and complex issue of racism vs anti-racism! Take care, lk
Thank you, Lisa. It feels like it’s mostly Kendi’s eloquence here. I only had to pick the best quotes from his book, and then tie them together. 🙂
Thanks for this amazing article. I hope people will forget about skin colors and let us live together as one .
Yes, it be so much if we could all happily live together.
Am I a racist? .. No, I am not … Am I an anti-racist? … No, I am not … but there is no in-between the man says … but I am NOT a racist …and I am NOT an anti-racist … do you have any idea how I was hot and cold under the collar … for a white South African man, Henneke? For racism is our daily diet in this country – first I was called a racist, but I never was one … but now the others are ruling and I am on the receiving end of racism – so now I AM one …. so confusing … Until it dawned on me … it’s only a story …. and it’s the story that counts… Thanks Henneke – you have a very special gift of communicating … and I have a lot to learn….
It’s not “only” a story. Feelings of racism are real. Anger is real. Experiences are real. We have to tell our stories to be able to heal.
Kendi doesn’t use racist as a slur or pejorative term. As he suggests “the only way to undo racism is to consistently identify and describe it—and then dismantle it.” His definitions are:
“RACIST: One who is supporting a racist policy through their actions or inaction or expressing a racist idea. ANTIRACIST: One who is supporting an antiracist policy through their actions or expressing an antiracist idea.”
I believe we can all examine our beliefs and reflect on how we can build more equal societies where everyone can thrive and feel safe.
The story I heard is that, “history is not there for us to like or dislike, it is there for us to learn from it. And if it offends, even better, because then we’re less likely to repeat it. It’s not ours to erase, it belongs to all of us.” With my Native American heritage, I prefer to think of your well written subject matter as my glass being half full, as opposed to it being half empty. I have been beaten but I am not beaten; I have come a long way despite the media.
I love your point on learning from history. I think we’re not doing enough of that, repeating our collective mistakes too often.
May your half-full glass get filled up over time. Here’s to your resilience and success!
Phew, that is a good post on a timely subject!
Thank you, Kitty. The compliment should probably go to Kendi rather than me 🙂 I highly recommend his book.
Always up to the minute with your topics, Henneke. Well-written as usual too. Thank you again for your post. Always read and get something from them.
Thank you, Paul. I didn’t want to stay silent.
Brilliant examples of how story moves and connects us!
Thank you for writing about being actively anti-racist. It is so natural and just to do so, but in a world of people who often find it easier to avoid conflict or fear using their voice (or who are unconsciously shrouded in shame or judgment), it is a transformative act of courage to simply speak the truth.
I believe in a world where truth and compassion lead us. I want to see the telling of stories of all people, widely, not just through the white lens. I want us all to hear the words, feel the emotions so deeply we recognize every face as our mirror. And if we are brave, we can hold one another in compassion and let this mirror ecavate our truest selves. Beyond judgment and fear, beyond power and control, we are whole and we are one.
Beautifully said, Ella.
We need more truth, compassion, and courage. It shouldn’t be so hard!
Of course, the story works. It has worked throughout history, beginning with the Homer, Aesop, and the Bible. We always want to know people’s interior lives, who-done-it, how it all turned out. We love being led along by and account. We don’t mind the moral of the story, even if it applies to us, when we have felt empathy for the main character.
And it’s safe, because it is about someone else, we can vote/cheer for the hero, and appear moral.
Then go home and think about self in private.
And maybe change.
Yes, you’re so right: Stories have worked throughout history.
And we love cheering on our heroes. Making changes ourselves is harder!
It’s both interesting and soothing to see you write on this theme Henneke. Maybe because I am black. I thoroughly savoured this piece. Thanks Henneke!
I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Miracle. Thank you for letting me know.
Thank you for this article, Henneke. For me, being an anti-racist has always been something that “goes without saying” and now that doesn’t apply any longer. The “without saying” suddenly turned out to be the exact opposite, realizing this was quite shocking for me. However difficult, we still have to say something because that means we have reflected on the matter and are starting to move towards the necessary change for equality.
On the topic of getting heard, I find being myself and tying my message to something that I think my readers can relate to also helps.
Yes, tying your message to something your readers can relate to is a smart move. I think that first story of young Kendi being embarrassed about his Dad is something most people can relate to, too. It’s a great opening to the book.
Like you, I also thought that being antiracist goes without saying but I’m learning that I can do better. Hopefully, this post is a start.
Thank you for stopping by!
Henneke, Thank you. “Examining our own racist views is uncomfortable because most of us like to see ourselves as kind, open-minded people who treat everyone equally.” It’s so easy to live in a bubble, and believe we’re accepting but then staying silent. It’s harder to share our own, or someone else’s story, and take the time to listen to others share theirs.
An issue swept under the rug does not make it go away, just makes for a bumpy carpet.
I love how you put that, Vanessa: “An issue swept under the rug does not make it go away, just makes for a bumpy carpet.” Thank you for sharing.
Henneke,
Beautifully reviewed book! Timely too. With writing lessons to boot! Nicely done.
Thanks
Brij.
Thank you so much, Brij. I appreciate your compliment 🙂