Let me admit it …
I’m an impatient reader.
When a text is confusing or complicated, I quickly get distracted.
I do love learning new things.
But I’m too lazy to decipher a writer’s ideas.
I’m sure I’m not alone.
How can writers simplify their writing so they can keep impatient readers like me captivated?
Fuzzy thinking hides in long sentences and in paragraphs
So, to avoid fuzzy writing try this practice:
- Compose relatively short sentences
- Write one-sentence paragraphs
It’s a tough practice …
Each sentence should be accurate and clear, and each sentence should follow the previous sentence logically.
This practice forces you to disentangle your thoughts. There’s no hiding.
Sentence by sentence, you lay out your argument.
Shall we look at an example?
Example 1: A help text in simple sentences
Mailchimp offers email marketing software, and the Help section on its website explains the difference between hard and soft bounces.
Below follows part of that explanation—I’ve changed the paragraphs so each sentence stands on its own and I’ve numbered the sentences:
(2) We categorize bounces into two types: hard bounces and soft bounces.
(3) A hard bounce indicates a permanent reason an email cannot be delivered.
(4) In most cases, bounced email addresses are cleaned from your audience automatically and immediately.
(5) Cleaned addresses will be excluded from all future campaign sends.
(6) Here are some common reasons an email may hard bounce.
- Recipient email address doesn’t exist.
- Recipient email server has completely blocked delivery.
Each sentence above furthers the explanation on bounces, just one step at a time:
- Sentence 1 explains what a bounce is.
- Sentence 2 suggests that two types of bounces exist. The writer may have been tempted to jump straight into explaining the difference between the two types of bounces; but that comes later; this sentence only mentions the two categories.
- Sentence 3 defines a hard bounce.
- Sentence 4 explains what happens with bounced email addresses.
- Sentence 5 explains what that means for your future email campaigns.
- Sentence 6 explains the two common reasons why hard bounces occur.
Clear, eh?
The explanation is easy to follow because each sentence communicates just one piece of information. And then the next sentence takes that explanation one step further, and so forth.
Readers get exactly the information they need. Nothing more. Nothing less.
This same principle also works for more complicated topics.
Let’s have a look …
Example 2: A lawyer’s commentary
David Allen Green is a lawyer who commentates on UK law and policy issues.
I enjoy reading his blog because he makes complicated issues—such as Brexit policies and constitutional law—understandable, even to a lay reader like me.
Green consistently writes one-sentence paragraphs; and each sentence is clear and simple. Here’s an example from a blog post about animal rights:
To the extent I had any view on the subject, my view was that ‘animals don’t have rights, but humans have responsibilities’.
After all: how could an animal have rights if an animal could not enforce them?
But.
The more I thought about it, the more that view just did not add up.
Lots of humans have rights that have to be enforced on their behalf – minors and the incapacitated, for example.
Even things that do not actually exist in physical form have rights and legal personality – corporations for example.
And so the fact that animals could not enforce their own rights was not a reason to deny them rights.
Then, as I looked at animal welfare law in the United Kingdom – a complex sprawling mess of legislation with arbitrary distinctions between species and various levels of protection (and lack of protection), and with varying degrees of enforcement (and lack of enforcement), it seemed to me that it would be far better if the whole thing was replaced with a single Animals Act (like the Children Act).
And if so, then the basis of the legislation should be that all animals have rights – not just the lucky ones.
Have you noticed how each sentence matters?
How each sentence gives one extra piece of information, expanding the argument?
Despite one long sentence, the text is easy to read and the argument is easy to follow.
David Allen Green explains why he writes in one-sentence paragraphs:
There is a principle in legal drafting known as the ‘rule against surplusage’
The more sentences you have in a paragraph, the weaker the proposition
You can end up with long paragraphs which make no point at all
And my one sentence-paragraph style seeks to avoid that
Some people think that using difficult words and complicated sentences is a sign of superior intelligence.
But Green shows that the opposite is true.
By simplifying his writing, he shows his clarity of thinking, and he helps readers follow his thought process. He makes complicated subjects easy to understand, and that’s surely a sign of intelligence.
You don’t have to publish your work in one-sentence paragraphs, like David Allen Green does. But it’s a good practice to help clarify your thinking.
How to disentangle your thinking
Shall we look at the process of turning fuzzy thinking into simple writing?
Here’s a fuzzy description of a consultant:
The first problem with the sentence above is that it has too many ideas. The second problem is that each idea remains abstract. Can you picture John? Can you imagine how an organization would benefit from his work? Nope, me neither.
To disentangle this sentence:
- Cut it into parts (one tiny idea per part)
- Scrap what’s unnecessary
- Make what’s left over more vivid
So, the first step is to break the sentence up:
He is fueled by the possibility of what could be.
And he pairs that sense of possibility with an ability to turn ideas into action.
He sees strengths and potential in others.
And he elevates these characteristics even more.
Next, comes the most difficult step: Scrap the sentences that don’t matter and communicate the essence of your message succinctly.
It can help to highlight the most important phrases first. I highlight: Energy, a sense of possibility, seeing potential in people, turning ideas into action. With a little bit of playing and rephrasing, I get to the essence of the message in two sentences:
His energy helps your team turn ideas into action.
Much simpler, right?
But it’s still a little abstract, so an example can help make it more vivid:
For instance, when Covid hit, sales at the Brilliant Retailer slumped. The marketing budget shrunk, and the marketing team felt under pressure and deflated.
Mid 2020, John helped organize 3 online brainstorm sessions. The team came up with low-cost marketing ideas, and sales increased by 7.8% in 2021.
Writing is often a process of subtraction and expansion.
First, pare down writing to its essence.
Next, expand with examples and details to make your message more vivid.
A simple text is almost effortless to read …
And it can feel like the words have just flowed out of the writer onto the paper.
But that’s not how writing simply works.
The LOWER the effort to read, the HIGHER the effort of the writer.
Writing clearly and simply is hard work. But you know what’s so wonderful about it?
The writing process crystallizes your thinking. Your ideas become sharper, more luminous.
And readers will love how you make them feel smarter.
Happy writing!
Recommended reading on simplifying your writing:
How to simplify complex ideas
How to avoid wordiness
How to write clear and concise sentences
After reading this, I went against my current strict purge on newsletter subscriptions. Hastily adding: not yours, Henneke!
I subscribed to David Allen Green. I’ve been on the lookout for a wise, readable voice on UK law and politics for a while.
Thank you. Both for the simplifying advice and the recommendation.
He’s good and well worth following. I used to follow David Allen Green’s articles when he posted on Twitter which he isn’t doing anymore. Maybe I should subscribe to his Substack, too? I miss his voice a little.
Either I read to spend time or to learn some skill,
my stop is Henneke’s blog.
Especially this one has got my heart.
Thanks, Henneke being helpful every time.
Thank you, Ali, for coming back to my blog. I’m glad you enjoyed this blog post.
Hi Henneke,
I’m having trouble writing a short, concise sentence. Many sentences sound fluffy and illogical. But I don’t know how to improve them. So when landing this post for the first time, I find it helpful.
I learned a lot from what you shared. I even try using your tips when writing this comment.
Thanks so much for your precious ideas in this post.
You’re doing fine!
Hi Henneke, you actually simplify complex things. I am so thankful I subscribed. Thanks for doing such good work. I have to start blogging. Your input will definitely help.
I’m glad you’re enjoying my writing, Vinita. Happy blogging!
Hi Henneke,
I just landed here for the first time and found the blog post about what I should have known earlier.
Clear and concise writing is essential to captivate the audience.
Thanks for the publishing the post that is useful for me and others as well.
I’m glad you found it useful, Nitin. Happy writing!
I’m a big fan of short and succinct sentences myself. Reading long and winding sentences is a sure way of losing me. Thanks for another great article. I love the examples and how you explained each.
Yeah, I love short and simple, too.
But I do have a secret crush on long sentences but they have to be straightforward and full of rhythm.
A sentence should never feel complicated or cumbersome or like a writer is trying too hard to impress.
Thank you for stopping by!
Glad I found this amazing piece at a time I am looking to take writing seriously.
Your recommendations looks very simple and effective.
I will drop by frequently to learn more moving forward.
Thanks a lot, you are a gem!
Thank you. I am glad you found it useful. Happy writing!
Hi Henneke!
I love the examples you used here, especially the one about John the Consultant. Such an excellent, practical instance to use this technique. it really brings the lesson home for me.
I find it easy to use short sentences but when I look over my writing, the rhythm can feel quite staccato-like. So then I go back and edit: join a few sentences together, to vary it. It works a treat 😊
Hi Alison!
That sounds like a great approach 🙂
Thanks so much for stopping. It humbles me that you’re still popping by to read my blog after so many years 🙂
I work in structural engineering. The first task I give new employees in my department is to read Politics and the English Language by George Orwell. That is my way of pushing back against the epidemic of awful business-speak which permeates construction. Your article may well be the follow up homework!
Yes, we need to push back as hard as we can against all the gobbledygook. I’m with you. And I like that you’re getting new employees to read Politics and the English Language.
Well.
I usually do not accept one-word comments but I’m delighted to make an exception for you.
With much appreciation for your writing. Thank you!
The examples you chose shows you preach what you practice by putting higher effort.
Thank you, George. I do my best to practice what I preach!
This is valuable content Henneke – thank you! My instinct in writing was “more is better”.
I assumed that readers respected and enjoyed long, abstract explanations.
Your examples shed light on this mistaken assumption of mine.
The one thing I know is skill is a good thing, but it is nothing without practice, practice, and more practice.
I’m on the right path now – thanks again!
It’s easy to think so. A lot of writing is abstract but the best writing directs a mental movie in a reader’s mind. It can be even better than going to the movies 🙂
As always, Henneke,
You’re as brilliant as you are beautiful 🙂 . . .
And, that says a lot, in one sentence . . .
Always looking forward to your next epistle,
<3 <3 <3
Awww, thank you, Jim 😊
Love this Henneke! Just what I needed to see this morning.
Minimalist writing with a story attached. A beautiful thing.
Thank you for the inspiration!
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Daniela.
I like how you describe this: “Minimalist writing with a story attached. A beautiful thing.”
Happy writing!
Excellent article.
Teaching me to cut down to the essence by using short sentences was good.
Enhancing and enlarging with details and examples is brilliant.
I can remember that.
Thank you so much, Sheila. Happy writing!
You’re Great!
I love your simplifying and fortifying tips for writing. Especially, writing in short sentences and in one-sentence paragraph attract me.
Thank you so much, Tajammul. I’m glad you enjoyed this. Happy writing!
Hi Henneke.
Thank you! And, the writer brings so much energy to the writing with your spartan approach. It unleashes the power of the simple declarative sentence.
I hope all is well in your world.
Yes, so true. I love how you put this: The power of the simple declarative sentence. Thank you, Curtis!
Great topic! I use one-sentence paragraphs a lot in fundraising writing, but hadn’t really thought about breaking up other writing into standalone sentences to see how to strengthen what I’m saying. Thank you!
I find it an interesting exercise because it really forces me to make each sentence matter.
Love this Henneke ❤️
Short, sharp and relevant always wins 🙂
Awww. Thank you, Paul. And I was afraid that this post might have been a little too long!
I love this post.
Thank you.
I tend to love all of your posts.
Thank you.
I find them inspiring.
Thank you.
P.S. I’ve found a book that made me think of you.
“Wonderbook: The Illustrated Guide to Creating Imaginative Fiction”-Jeff Vandermeer
Have you heard of it? I searched your blog to see if you had recommended it. I can’t remember who did.
Again, thanks for your inspiring blog posts.
Thank you, thank you, Phil.
And I love your book recommendations. I hadn’t heard of this book but it definitely sounds interesting. Will check it out!
Another great article with useable tips!
Thank you, Kal. I’m glad you find it useful.
Outstanding! I think it’s one of your best posts, Henneke.
Awww, wow. I hadn’t expected that. Thank you, Doug!
One thing I’ve noticed is that big fancy words act as a barrier between the writer and the reader.
Yes, I agree. Well put.
Thank you for this post! I like seeing writing as a process of substraction and expansion. Reminds me of a breathing organism. The only thing we ‘re trying to do is bringing the words to life.
I love that! Thanks for sharing, Claudia.
Brilliant, Henneke.
Thank you, Kitty.
Henneke,
You do it again and again (speaking for myself and other kindred writing hands)…
* You infuse a love of words and ideas,
* Show us how to join them with ease,
* Finally you offer ways to sprinkle a bit of fun
So I get writing without any hang-ups.
Thank you for firing me up, I love this post.
Thank you so much for your lovely compliment, Binita. It makes me happy to know you feel inspired. Happy writing!
Another great post, thank you!
Thank you, Karin. I much appreciate that you’re continuing to read my work!
I love your simple yet mind-opening writing. It always inspires me to think and write with easy words.
Thanks from the heart for your usual caring, evergreen writing tips with brilliant examples.
What a lovely compliment. Thank you so much, Ahmed. I appreciate it! 🙂