I bet you know someone.
Someone who rambles on so much you can’t follow their story.
Worse, you lose the will to listen.
Of course, you are a different communicator. You focus on your listener or reader. You try to be clear and concise.
But could it be that a dash of wordiness sneaks into your writing?
It’s easily done.
Shall I explain?
Let me tell you a quick story first …
It was 2011. I was packing for my first cycling trip.
I had to carry my luggage—ALL my luggage—on my bike.
A few days before the trip, I spread out what I wanted to take on my bed. Oh dear! There was no way that it’d fit in my pannier bags. I had to reduce the number of cycling shirts from 4 to 3, the number of cycling shorts from two to one, and so on.
The lighter my luggage, the easier my pedaling would be.
Readers have a similar challenge. Wordiness makes them feel like they’re battling uphill.
So, if you’d like your readers to pedal with ease, try to avoid these 3 types of wordiness …
Wordiness type #1: Lack of clarity
Lack of clarity is the worst form of wordiness. Like trying to stuff a couple of evening suits into your pannier bags.
To keep your writing focused, determine its purpose: Write for one reader and know what you want them to do.
For a sales page, it’s relatively straightforward. You want your favorite customer to click Buy. You’ve developed your product to meet their needs, so everything that distracts them from buying doesn’t belong on your sales page.
And this blog post you’re reading right now?
I hope you’ll learn which types of wordiness you’re already avoiding, and how you could cut down wordiness a little more. Anything that doesn’t help you cut wordiness doesn’t belong on this page.
To avoid wordiness, check:
What’s the purpose of your content? Does each paragraph help fulfill that purpose? Or are some paragraphs redundant?
These 3 visual thinking tips help focus your articles >>
Wordiness type #2: Long-windedness
When I started touring on my bike, I thought my aim was to fit my luggage into my pannier bags.
That felt like enough of a challenge.
I’ve since learned that stuffing your pannier bags full is not a great idea. Because every time you’re looking for a clean pair of socks, you’ll have to empty your whole bag. You can’t find anything in a full bag.
How does that translate to writing?
In a first draft, our ideas are often not as clear as they could be. They’re buried, just like my socks.
To let your ideas shine more brightly, try this practice:
- Write each sentence on a new line
- Read each sentence slowly, and determine: Is this sentence actually saying what you think it says? And is that what it needs to say?
As a cyclist, you pack as lightly as you can. Each piece of luggage counts.
As a writer you do the same.
To avoid wordiness, check:
Does each sentence matter?
How to simplify your writing: A little-known practice >>
Wordiness type #3: Weighty sentences
Ever heard of a weight weenie?
It’s a road cyclist who’s obsessed with the weight of his bike. He’ll replace a component that weighs 70 grams with one that weighs 68 grams even if it costs 100 dollars more.
A weight weenie can’t sleep at night, considering the possibilities of shaving another 2 or 3 grams of the weight of his bike. He is relentless in his pursuit of finding the lightest frame, the lightest seat post, and even the lightest holder for his water bottle.
With my hybrid bike, I can’t play in the league of weight weenies. But I do obsess about the weight of words and sentences.
If you want to captivate the attention of your readers from your first to your last word, you need to become a word weenie, too. Make each word count.
Here’s how to scrap redundant words:
- Read a sentence slowly
- Highlight the most meaningful words
- Rewrite your sentence by focusing on the meaningful words
Reducing the weight of your words takes time. So, I suggest you focus on where it matters most: Your headlines, subheads, your opening and final paragraphs.
Over time, you’ll get better and faster at scrapping unnecessary words, and you can address your whole piece of writing.
To avoid wordiness, check:
How can I rephrase this sentence using fewer words?
How to write clear and concise sentences >>
The truth about wordiness
I once knew an engineer who packed a bag as if it were a spreadsheet.
Writing isn’t quite like that.
No rule exists to tell us when writing is too wordy.
And sometimes, you may choose to use a few extra words to:
- Create rhythm
- Add power
- Make your writing more conversational
- Sketch a vivid picture with your words
So, your aim is not to use as few words as possible.
The aim is to choose your words wisely so you can captivate your readers.
Happy writing!
Further reading on avoiding wordiness:
How to write clear and concise sentences
How to eliminate gobbledygook
How to use adverbs correctly
Hi Henneke!! When I did your course about 5 years ago, this was supremely powerful: “To avoid wordiness, check: How can I rephrase this sentence using fewer words?”
Just the other day, I had a horrible sentence. I remembered your teachings and transformed it. You’re awesome Henneke.
That’s such lovely feedback. Thank you, Mark.
Thanks for sharing these tips. One thing I have found to be useful (both for me and my readers) is writing each sentence in a new line and I learnt this from Neil Patel.
Yes, see also the second tip in this post. This is a good practice for reviewing and simplifying your writing. However, it’s not recommended to publish your work with each sentence on a new line. Some writers (such as David Allen Green) can pull this off well but for most people, it works better when you have a couple of sentences per paragraph. That’s also what Neil Patel does. Some of his paragraphs comprise one long sentence. Other paragraphs contain a few sentences. It’s about rhythm and creating enough white space.
I’m in love with your posts, Henneke.
Proof of that is I have clipped four to five web pages on chrome, and I didn’t dare to close any of them before reading 2 to 3 times.
That’s all because of the value you share.
Keep sharing more! Henneke.
Thank you, Ali. That’s a lovely compliment. Happy writing!
Your blog posts are like nectar. It feeds me. And I need to come back to feed myself again. I feel like a bee. Thank you, Henneke !
Such a lovely thought: “Your blog posts are like nectar.” Thank you, Alexandra. I’m happy to welcome you back each time you need a little more nectar. 🙂
‘I once knew an engineer who packed a bag as if it were a spreadsheet.’ 😂
It’s clearly not my style of packing! 🙂
This is a clever, short, and easy way to prune the excess shrubbery. I see new, wannabe novelists on FB struggling with pages of wordy, runaway sentences and paragraphs full of deadly “ly” words and they can’t figure out what’s wrong. They need to learn that less is more and an improved vocabulary will be a big help with their writing.
This lesson is yet another one of your excellent tips for success in writing clear, powerful sentences.
Thanks so much, Henneke
I think wordiness is a hard habit to unlearn, and at school we learn to write to impress. I don’t think I ever learned how to avoid wordiness at school. It was always like the more words the better.
Loved the biking metaphor! Perfect!
Thank you, Margie!
Beautiful and useful analogies. Thank you! And I think that line of thinking applies to life in general.
Yes, so true. It applies to life in general. I hadn’t thought about that yet!
Henneke once again a quality post. Luggage representing words made it so clear to understand what you meant and what to do. Yes, you want every piece in your “bag” to be essential. Thank you for passing on the technique.
Thanks so much, Melinda. I’m glad you like the metaphor. This was fun to write!
Such a good post, Henneke! Incredibly valuable, thanks for sharing 🙂
Thank you, Sampada. I am glad you found it useful.🙂 Happy writing!
Choice between redundancy or ornamentation; there is a thin line. Great tips.
Happy valentine day.
Yes, so true: A thin line. And we all get to choose where we want to draw that line.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
The struggle between the right words. Not the wrong words, all mixed up in the first drafts, exasperates.
And learning to recognize when you are actually at the end can be another whole story.
Good advice Henneke. Thank you.
Happy Valentines Day!
Yes, it can be exasperating. Even after the overall flow of the story is right, it can still take me several editing rounds before each sentence says exactly what I want it to say.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too, Barry!
Really helpful. I love this post. Thanks so much!
It is so timely because I am going over some old writing, trying to tighten it. Thanks, again! 🙂
Thank you so much, Katharine. It’s good to see you again. Sending love ❤️
I always like the way you say it. Precise, relevant and justifying does it. I believe you. I’m getting there. Thanks you Henneke
Thank you, Judith. Being precise takes me quite some effort!
Thank you Henneke, I will try harder to prune back my verbosity!
I’ve never grown topiary, but it comes to mind. A bush needs to grow naturally to begin with, a little wild and irregular, until it’s reached a good size and thickness. Then out come the trimming sheers… some big cuts here, a few shaves there… snip, snip, snip… And voila! a marvelous creation is born. Hopefully. 😉
Yes, that’s a fab metaphor! Thank you for sharing, Sue.
Every word must earn its place. Thanks for your advice, Henneke. —Doug
PS Good luck finding your socks.
Thank you, Doug. It seems that over the years, I’ve become pretty good at keeping track of my socks 🙂
Fabulous post, Henneke. The What, the Why, and the How.
Happy Valentine’s Day! Thank you for bringing more love to the world.
Thank you, Kit. I was a little worried that the How was a bit underserved but there are links with more detailed advice for anyone who wants to learn more. Thank you for stopping by!
And Happy Valentine’s to you, too!
Hi Henneke,
This is a perfect post to read for me. And surely it is not possible to write a good article without clarity or the other things you mentioned.
A great thanks for sharing this post.
Have a good week ahead.
That’s true. An article can’t be good if it lacks clarity of is long-winded. I think we do forgive a writer a few excess words here or there (perhaps depending on how good the story or the advice is). The first two types of wordiness are the worst.
Yes, the first two are the worst. I completely agree.
Enough said. And, as always, said well.
Thanks, Henneke.
Thank you, Terence!
Great info!!! Happy Valentine’s Day to you!
Thank you, Raymond. And Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too!