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Being vs. Doing: The Peculiar Art of Getting Unstuck

by Henneke | 112 enchanting opinions, add yours? :)

The Peculiar Art of Being StuckI come from a family of workaholics.

Our default is to chase goals, solve problems, fix wrongs, strive to be better, do more.

We’re always on our way to the next destination.

You, too?

Modern technology encourages us to do rather than to be. Even when queuing up at the supermarket, we answer emails. And while waiting for a taxi, we check LinkedIn or mindlessly scroll through Instagram.

When did you last pause?

And what did you notice when you paused?

Research suggests that many of us feel uncomfortable to be alone with our own thoughts. Some of us rather give ourselves a mild electric shock than sit and do nothing.

Isn’t that weird?

Doing is easier than being

Doing gives us a sense of control.

Yet, the ability to be on our own with our thoughts is key to creativity. To solve problems, we have to embrace the discomfort of being stuck.

Andrew Wiles is the mathematician who solved Fermat’s Last Theorem. To solve this puzzle he had to get through seven years of stuckness.

As Wiles explains:

We all find [maths] difficult. It’s not that [mathematicians are] any different from someone who struggles with maths problems in third grade…. We’re just prepared to handle that struggle on a much larger scale. We’ve built up resistance to those setbacks.

To solve the 400-year old puzzle of Fermat’s Last Theorem, Wiles had to be comfortable with stuckness and not let frustrations overpower him.

The stamina to keep staring

Artist Christoph Niemann integrates objects in surprising ways to create his “Sunday Sketches.” Here’s an example:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Christoph Niemann (@abstractsunday)

Niemann recently described his process:

(…) it’s never about a sudden inspired spark. I pick a random object, and then I just stare at it. I look at it from different angles, play with the light (usually just by moving my desk lamp). And I try to open my mind as wide as possible, to see if a peculiar angle reminds me of a familiar shape.

More often than not this yields … nothing.

And when it does, I doubt it’s because I have a special gift at making these visual connections. It’s because sometimes I have the stamina to keep on staring, when a saner person would do the reasonable thing and get on with their life instead.

As Niemann suggests, he finds creative ideas not because he’s more creative but because he’s okay with staring at an object; he doesn’t give up.

As writers, we face instances of stuckness, too

For instance, one moment we feel excited about an idea for a new post. The next moment we sit down to write and don’t seem to be able to formulate our thoughts. Our enthusiasm evaporates, and we feel stuck.

Or perhaps you’ve written your draft, but the next day your writing does not seem as good as you thought. The idea of revision can be overwhelming and make you feel stuck.

Stuckness is uncomfortable, and finding an escape route is tempting—like catching up on Facebook, scrolling through our Twitter feed, or playing a game of Solitaire or Candy Crush.

But escaping rarely helps solve stuckness

The Navy Seals test their ability to deal with stuckness by “drown-proofing”—their feet are bound together, their hands are tied behind their back, and they’re thrown into a 9-foot-deep pool.

Amazingly, the key to their survival is not strength, not endurance, not even their ability to swim. The key is to stop doing and to “just be.” Mark Manson describes it like this:

The trick to drown-proofing is to actually let yourself sink to the bottom of the pool. From there, you lightly push yourself off the pool floor and let your momentum carry you back to the surface. Once there, you can grab a quick breath of air and start the whole process over again.

Our human instinct is to fight, to try to untie our strings, to take control, to do.

But sometimes it’s better to do nothing and to stay with our fears until a solution shows itself.

At Easter this year, I nearly fell to pieces

At the time, I blamed my breakdown on a failed swimming experiment.

But the truth was that years of chronic pain and fatigue had eroded my resilience. As a doer, I push my boundaries all the time. And when I pushed too far yet again, I crashed and felt like my life was falling apart. What if I’ll never get my old energy back? What if this is my kind of life?

I was afraid of losing myself.

For several years, I’ve practiced mindfulness, and it has helped me deal with my writing frustrations. Instead of escaping, I know how to stay with my stuckness, find a way through, and stick to writing.

This year, my Yoga therapist taught me how to apply the same skills to staying present when my fears, pain, and fatigue seem to overpower me.

As human beings, we don’t like being stuck

Busyness feels like a more comfortable option. But sometimes, we have to pause and create inner space so we can come up for air—just like those Navy Seals.

When we sit with our discomfort, we can approach our stuckness with a sense of curiosity. What are we feeling? How is our body reacting?

When we connect with ourselves, we can find a surprising sense of inner calmness, even amidst dark chaos or despair. When we are prepared to listen rather than run away, we can hear the whispers of our heart and listen to the wisdom of our soul.

Doing vs. being

In June of this year, I wrote on my blog:

I love what I’m doing. Teaching, writing, and drawing are a big part my life. It’s who I am.

At that time, I felt very strongly about that last short sentence: “It’s who I am.”

But slowly, I am learning that what I do—or how much or how little I do—doesn’t define who I am.

I’m learning to be more comfortable with being—with being fearful, being sad, even with being happy.

I’m learning to just be.

Please take good care of yourself, my friend.

You’re precious.

We have a tendency to think in terms of doing and not in terms of being. We think that when we are not doing anything, we are wasting our time. But that is not true. Our time is first of all for us to be. To be what? To be alive, to be peaceful, to be joyful, to be loving. And that is what the world needs most.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Recommended reading on doing vs being:

Mindfulness for writers: How to write with ease and joy
How to find inner peace in 3 steps
How I learned to be me

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Comments

  1. Cindy V says

    July 12, 2022 at 5:16 pm

    What an insightful article. Thanks, this was very helpful as I’m a person who can get stuck, whether it’s writing or drawing.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      July 12, 2022 at 6:55 pm

      Thank you, Cindy. I’m glad you found this helpful. What has helped me a lot is normalizing stucknesd—seeing stuckness as part of the creative process so it wouldn’t upset me. It then became easier to find a way through. Leaving things to percolate helps me a lot, too.

      Reply
  2. Chris says

    December 6, 2019 at 12:21 am

    Just came across this article and loved every aspect of it. Your writing is so thoughtful, approachable, and sincere. I just bought both your books :))

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 6, 2019 at 10:20 am

      Thank you so much, Chris, for your comment, your compliment and for buying my books. I hope you’ll enjoy the books!

      Reply
  3. Juan says

    September 2, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    Love the distinctions between being and doing!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      September 4, 2019 at 5:17 pm

      Thank you, Juan 🙂

      Reply
  4. Josh says

    August 31, 2019 at 8:50 pm

    Your writing is so inspiring and freeing! I feel a sense of relief, knowing I can simplify my writing and get unstuck! My mom is on board too! Thanks for helping us. Time to practice

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      September 2, 2019 at 3:42 pm

      Go for it, Josh. Thank you for stopping by, and happy writing!

      Reply
  5. Kate says

    January 8, 2019 at 7:05 pm

    Lovely post. I especially liked the Navy Seals analogy. Sometimes it takes some kind of binding to get us to stop doing in order to be. It reminds me of the trust described in a Denise Levertov poem. I’ll quote the first part here: “As swimmers dare to lie face to the sky and water bears them, as hawks rest upon air and air sustains them, so would I learn to attain freefall, and float. . . .”

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      January 8, 2019 at 8:54 pm

      What a beautiful lines. The freefall from doing towards being felt incredibly scary to me. It took some time before I could trust and just be.

      Thank you so much for sharing these poem lines. I’ll have to check out the whole poem!

      Reply
  6. Helen Golubeva says

    December 25, 2018 at 7:43 am

    Happy Holidays, my fav writer and thinker! Love to read your thoughtful posts (like this one) that resonate with my soul. Hope to see more next year. You ARE precious 😉

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 27, 2018 at 9:25 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment, Helen. I’m happy this post resonated with you. 🙂 Wishing you an enchanting 2019!

      Reply
  7. Mike Bowley says

    December 17, 2018 at 2:04 pm

    Have a great and relaxing time over the festive period.
    I as a 63-year-old man and writer are totally inspired by your style of messaging and writing.
    Stay unique Henneke.
    If you get five mins please check out my style too on mikebowley.com &”Adventurous Tales from a Mountain Walk” and all its characters such as Rosa, Ximena, Stalin and Ignacio.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 17, 2018 at 5:39 pm

      Thank you, Mike. I’m glad you feel inspired by my writing! 🙂

      Reply
  8. Jessica Scheper says

    December 17, 2018 at 4:40 am

    LOVE it!!! So true Henneke, thank you for putting yourself out there, being vulnerable – that’s true strength. 😀

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 17, 2018 at 9:43 am

      Thank you so much, Jessica. I appreciate your encouragement 🙂

      Reply
  9. Kitty Kilian says

    December 14, 2018 at 6:58 am

    What a lovely blog. We are what we think we are. Happy resting!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 14, 2018 at 5:44 pm

      Thank you, Kitty. I hope you’ll have a relaxing break, too!

      Reply
  10. Fanny Signeyrole says

    December 14, 2018 at 5:45 am

    Dear Henneke,
    I am sorry to hear that you were having a hard time at Easter this year. That was when I was doing your so enjoyable blogging course.
    Feeling stuck is inevitable and it happened to me often with my startup lately and often personally before. I learned to be patient. So, my recipe is staying calm and waiting that ideas come to mind and get me unstuck (and they always come after a little while) and I also talk a lot to my love, who is always helpful and supportive. So, when I am stuck, I don’t “do,” I talk 🙂
    I will use my quiet holidays to work on your new course 😉
    I wish you a wonderful relaxing time and the happiest holidays!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 14, 2018 at 5:44 pm

      Yes, I went through a tough time during the course, but the worst panic attacks happened during the break. I was happy I got myself together again in time so we could continue the course. I didn’t want to talk about it at the time so just focused on the course 🙂

      I also find that talking can help get unstuck—especially with business issues or writing blocks.

      I hope you won’t work too much during the holidays (but do let me know what you think of the course?)

      Wishing you a relaxing time, too, and an enchanting and creative 2019! Thank you so much for stopping by.

      Reply
  11. Thuy Pham says

    December 13, 2018 at 2:27 pm

    Dear Henneke,
    It’s a beautiful post. This year, I also learned to just be. It wasn’t always easy but it was worth it when I was able to reconnect with what matters to me.
    Thank you for your enchanting words and happy holidays to you too!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 14, 2018 at 11:50 am

      Thank you for your beautiful comment, dear Thuy. Isn’t it weird that we find it so hard to connect with what matters to us?

      Wishing you happy holidays and a creative and enchanting 2019!

      Reply
  12. Marisa Soto says

    December 13, 2018 at 1:27 am

    Dear Henneke,

    Another great post. I love its only one point: be. And explained under such an original and compelling perspective.

    Allow yourself to be sad, to be imperfect, to be just you. And love you non the less. Perhaps reaching that peace of mind is the one thing that can unstuck us from writer’s block or self sabotage.

    BTW, your course “Write it, Don’t Fight it” is sturdy and impeccable. In plain English, it’s awesome! 😉 I’ve already finished it and plan to revisit it after New Year. Just to test the power of percolation. Congratulations!

    You have a Merry Christmas and a fantastic New Year! Marisa

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 14, 2018 at 11:23 am

      Ha, yes! Only one message 🙂

      I’m so glad you’ve been enjoying the new course. Thank you for all your support, Marisa. It’s been a delight to work with you.

      Wishing you a Merry Christmas and enchanting New Year!

      Reply
  13. Ian Mackenzie says

    December 12, 2018 at 8:17 pm

    I began practicing mindfulness about three months ago after reading a fantastic book called 10% Happier. You may have read it? It is a life changing experience for me, I love it. Then I found out he had an app and the app is even better than the book. I really enjoy the guided meditations in the app. I find the whole mindfulness thing facinating and really enjoyable.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 12, 2018 at 9:41 pm

      Yes, I’ve read that book. I loved it, too. I even wrote a blog post about it earlier this year. (In case you’re interested: https://www.enchantingmarketing.com/sell-your-ideas-skeptical-audience/)

      And yes, this whole mindfulness thing is fascinating. I was quite skeptical when I started but have been gradually won over. 🙂

      Reply
  14. Christy says

    December 12, 2018 at 3:42 pm

    Wonderful article. I’m left with a deep question. Is it possible to “do” and “be” at the same time? Perhaps that is what is considered “mindful doing”. I don’t know.

    Thank you for sharing— your insights and process of discovery are quite lovely.

    Peaceful holidays to you.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 12, 2018 at 9:34 pm

      Yes, I think mindful doing is possible. I’m no expert, but from what I’ve read and experienced, I’d say if your activity is relatively habitual (it doesn’t take up all your attention), then you can be mindful. For instance, you can mindfully notice your surroundings while out on a walk. Or you can think about how you’re feeling while coloring a drawing. Or you can pay attention to the sensations in your body when having a shower. It’s a more informal mindfulness practice compared to “just being” or meditation. It’s more difficult to be mindful when you’re doing a complex task (like writing) because that takes up all your mental space already. Oliver Sacks called writing the best pain killer because when he was absorbed in his writing, he wouldn’t feel his pain.

      I think both mindful doing and meditation are useful practices.

      Thank you so much for stopping by, Christy. Good to see you! And peaceful holidays to you, too.

      Reply
  15. Tam says

    December 12, 2018 at 9:16 am

    Love this Henneke. Especially the bit about doing nothing and staying with our fears until a solution reveals itself.
    Don’t run from the worry monster, ask him in for tea and see what happens! Wishing you a beautifully unproductive break. Tam

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 12, 2018 at 11:01 am

      I love your idea of having an unproductive break, Tam! It’s exactly what I need 🙂

      Thank you for stopping by. Happy holidays and an enchanting 2019 to you!

      Reply
  16. Kim says

    December 12, 2018 at 8:22 am

    Applause.

    And many thanks for this beautiful post, Henneke.

    It touched me and comforted me. I find it very recognizable in my creative process and in daily life.

    Enjoy your break and it looks like you are take good care of yourself, my friend. 🙂

    You are. Precious.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 12, 2018 at 9:04 am

      Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Kim. Isn’t it interesting how the issues that make us stumble in our creative process turn up in daily life, too?

      I’m getting better at taking care of myself. I’ve discovered it’s one of the most important skills to learn in life 🙂

      I hope you’ll enjoy your holidays, too. Take good care of yourself!

      Reply
  17. Maurizio says

    December 11, 2018 at 11:06 pm

    Dear Henneke, thank you for your wonderful article.
    You expressed your soul deeply.
    And you expressed our souls too…

    I will remember the Navy Sail’s experiment when I will be in my dentist’s room… 🙂

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

    P.S. next January I will be online with my blog in English about that Italian criminal case 😉

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 12, 2018 at 8:59 am

      I like how you put this: “You expressed your soul deeply. And you expressed our souls too…” Isn’t it interesting how we’re all more alike than we think?

      Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you, too, Maurizio. I look forward to seeing your new site next year. How exciting!

      Reply
  18. Jason says

    December 11, 2018 at 11:05 pm

    As a solo entrepreneur I am constantly signing up for and looking for valuable information I am very happy to say that I am blessed that I ran across this site thank you very much for the writing tips I never fail to open each of my emails I appreciate them very very much Jason

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 12, 2018 at 8:55 am

      I’m glad you’re enjoying my emails, Jason. 🙂

      Thank you for letting me know and best wishes for 2019!

      Reply
  19. Thea says

    December 11, 2018 at 10:27 pm

    You are a wonder of a woman. So glad I subscribed to your blog a while back. I really related to the Navy Seal story. Relaxation, acceptance and breath are all arrows in the quiver of a warrior aren’t they?
    Have a beautiful holiday and enjoy the important respite you have lovingly granted yourself. Great example for all of us.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 12, 2018 at 8:55 am

      I love how you put this: “Relaxation, acceptance and breath are all arrows in the quiver of a warrior.”

      I used to think life was about fighting but it isn’t. 🙂

      I appreciate your comment, Thea. Thank you for stopping by. I hope you’ll have a wonderful holiday, too, and an enchanting and creative 2019!

      Reply
  20. Trevor Smith says

    December 11, 2018 at 9:51 pm

    I love the sketches, Henneke.
    Thanks for your message – “to be.” I’ll be giving it a lot of thought over the upcoming break.
    I hope you find your break to be all you want it to be.

    Regards,
    Trevor.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 12, 2018 at 8:52 am

      Thank you, Trevor. I’m glad you like the sketches, and the message.

      I wish you a restful break, too, and an enchanting 2019!

      Reply
  21. Michael Pozdnev says

    December 11, 2018 at 8:21 pm

    I started DOING at age 17 and continued to increase my busyness every day. I had enough for another 17 years. But then I broke down.

    The last two years I have been learning to listen to myself and others. It was difficult for me to accept that I needed to learn life anew as if I were again 6 years old.

    It turns out to slow down and just BE very difficult. But it’s awesome!

    You, Henneke, gave me a gentle push in that direction. Sincerely thank you! I wish you joy and more freebies in your life 🙂

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 8:50 pm

      I’m with you, Michael. I’ve also found it one of the hardest lessons to learn and I’m still learning!

      But it feels like this year has been a real turning point for me when I’m starting to reap the benefits of the changes.

      Thank you for all your support in 2018. Wishing you a joyful 2019!

      Reply
  22. Paul Herring says

    December 11, 2018 at 7:34 pm

    Good post, Henneke.

    Interesting to read that you, only as recently as June – six months ago – discovered something about yourself and have made the change in your thinking.

    That’s progress and it underlines that we are all ‘a work in progress’, redefining who we are. Agree with it 100%. Thanks for your posts this year. Enjoy your break.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 8:04 pm

      Such an interesting comment because I tend to think I’m slow in changing myself. But you’re right. Even though I already knew that I had to change this idea of defining myself through my work when I wrote that in June, at that time I felt quite strongly about it and only 6 months later, I can feel the shift happening. It’s still work in progress, but starting the shift feels good.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Paul. I hope you’ll have a good break, too!

      Reply
  23. Sue Kingham says

    December 11, 2018 at 6:45 pm

    Great post. I hope you have a wonderful break and feel refreshed. Best wishes for 2019.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:57 pm

      Thank you, Sue. I wish you a refreshing break and an enchanting 2019, too!

      Reply
  24. ROMAY SITZE says

    December 11, 2018 at 5:50 pm

    A great reminder of the importance of taking time to listen to our own bodies, emotions, etc. Too often we allow ourselves to get so busy doing that we fail to allow time to reflect, accept ourselves as we are so we can move forward.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:58 pm

      Yes, so true. And when we keep busy doing, we don’t even realize that we’re running away from our emotions and ourselves.

      Thank you for stopping by, Romay. I appreciate it 🙂

      Reply
  25. JoAnna Brandi says

    December 11, 2018 at 5:02 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing…. I’ve had a year like that, I’m still learning – your piece was very helpful. With gratitude! JoAnna

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:56 pm

      I am also still learning and plan to keep on learning! Best wishes to you, JoAnna, and thank you for stopping by.

      Reply
  26. Kristin says

    December 11, 2018 at 4:49 pm

    You are a beautiful soul. I love your writing and drawings. You inspire me. You bring me comfort and joy. Thank you and I wish you a wonder-filled holiday and blessed New Year. Warmly, Kristin – Oregon

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:55 pm

      Thank you for your lovely words, Kristin. You warm my heart.

      Wishing you an enchanting holiday and wonderful 2019, too!

      Reply
  27. Lauren S Rader says

    December 11, 2018 at 4:48 pm

    Thank you for your wise words. Never heard of a yoga therapist before 🙂

    I hope you enjoy your vacation.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:53 pm

      Until a few years ago, I had never heard of a yoga therapist either. It’s an alternative to physical therapy and it works much better for me.

      Happy Holidays to you, too, Lauren! 🙂

      Reply
  28. Bruce says

    December 11, 2018 at 4:43 pm

    Thank you for writing this beautiful message. It’s just what I needed to read this morning. You’ve helped make my day a little brighter.

    Have a wonderful holiday!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:50 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment, Bruce. I hope you’ll have a wonderful holiday, too, and best wishes for 2019!

      Reply
  29. Kristen says

    December 11, 2018 at 4:42 pm

    Beautiful message. I needed to hear this for a different reason. And being resonates with me on so many levels. While I have drifted from my blogging commitments I have not forgotten your amazing support. I know I am capable of anything when allow myself to be more than do more.

    Happy Holiday!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:49 pm

      I love your comment about being able to “do more” when you allow yourself to “be more.” Thank you so much for sharing that, Kristen.

      Happy holidays to you, too!

      Reply
  30. Shirley Pordominsky says

    December 11, 2018 at 4:42 pm

    Thank you!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:48 pm

      You’re welcome 🙂

      Reply
  31. Olusegun O. says

    December 11, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    You’re wonderful, Henneke. Happy Holidays. Enjoy your break.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:47 pm

      Thank you, Olusegun. Happy Holidays to you, too!

      Reply
  32. Tine Weis says

    December 11, 2018 at 3:29 pm

    Great read and lovely drawings, Henneke.
    Very good advice. When you keep your feelings inside you, it’s like putting a lit on a volcano. It’s better to let it out and just be with them.
    A happy holiday and new year to you too.
    Best wishes, Tine

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:47 pm

      Yes, so true. Bottling up emotions doesn’t work but somehow many of us are taught to hide our emotions and feelings when we’re young.

      I appreciate your comment, Tine. Happy holidays and best wishes for a creative 2019!

      Reply
  33. Jeff Korhan says

    December 11, 2018 at 3:26 pm

    Thank you for the great thoughts. I’m a former meditation instructor so I know this, but apparently, I needed a reminder to be present.

    Feeling much better now!

    Enjoy your time off.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:46 pm

      I find it reassuring that even a former meditation instructor like you can get caught up in “doing.” It seems such a natural pattern.

      I hope you’ll have a chance to take some time off, too, Jeff. Happy Holidays!

      Reply
  34. Diane Balogh says

    December 11, 2018 at 3:17 pm

    You’re an inspiration, Henneke! Thanks for sharing this great lesson right before the holidays. My take away is to do a lot less of the busy work, like baking, decorating, and buying presents. Instead, I’ll spend my limited time enjoying my family.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:44 pm

      What a lovely takeaway! Thank you for sharing, Diane.

      Reply
  35. Aditya says

    December 11, 2018 at 3:03 pm

    Happy Holidays Henneke,
    Another great post. I loved your artworks too.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:24 pm

      Thank you, Aditya. I’m glad you like the drawings. 🙂

      Happy holidays to you, too.

      Reply
  36. Kim Smyth says

    December 11, 2018 at 2:22 pm

    I’m stuck right now! Since I’ve been sick with a head and chest cold, I feel yucky, lazy, and uninspired. I know I should be writing, yet I can’t force it when I don’t feel like it. Is that normal? Should I push on through?

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:27 pm

      Yes, it’s normal to feel resistance to writing and to go through periods where we don’t feel inspired. I’m a strong believer in keeping up a regular writing habit. When we keep writing (and this can be very short writing sessions), our muse and inspiration will turn up eventually. If I’d waited for inspiration, I’d probably have published fewer than half of my blog posts. However, I don’t think we need to stick to our habit at all costs. You don’t want to burn out, so planning periods of rest can be useful to re-energize and replenish our creative well.

      Reply
  37. Elena de Francisco says

    December 11, 2018 at 2:01 pm

    Thank you Henneke for yet another inspiring post. I’m trying to stick to this new routine of doing 10 minutes of meditation every day since I’m doing your Write it, don’t fight it course. It just helps so much.
    Yoga has been a part of my life since I was a very young woman but I must admit not every week I practice it as often as I should. I think about how much better I always feel after a yoga session and this helps me stop finding excuses for not to do it.
    Thank you again for your great advice!
    Have a wonderful holiday

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:30 pm

      The regular meditation routine helps me so much, too. I go through periods where it doesn’t work, but I know that if I persist I’ll get back into that groove and the meditation will make me feel better again. The support of my Yoga teacher also helps me stay on track.

      I hope you’ll have a wonderful holiday, too, Elena! Thank you for stopping by ?

      Reply
  38. Carole Lyden says

    December 11, 2018 at 1:56 pm

    I couldn’t have put it better myself. This post could easily be on a psychotherapy website.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:23 pm

      Thank you, Carole. I feel more comfortable writing about personal topics for my own site, for the readers who know me. 🙂

      Reply
  39. Debbie Larson says

    December 11, 2018 at 1:45 pm

    Before I got out of bed to write this morning, as I do every morning before work, I was overcome with feeling stuck and considering abandoning the book I’m writing. Thus, the timing of your email was amazing. I’m aware of “stuckness” as a part of my process. Still, sometimes I succumb to the self doubt. There’s nothing like company and encouragement to help me ride it out. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:22 pm

      That’s so true—company and encouragement or friendly advice can help us ride out the periods of self-doubt. Confidence in our writing (and in general) ebbs and flows. I hope you’ll get unstuck soon, Debbie. Thank you for stopping by.

      Reply
  40. Scott Edward St.Onge says

    December 11, 2018 at 1:36 pm

    Thank you Henneke, this is such a real struggle for me right now. Your writing helped to shed a little light into a dark place. An ember of hope to reach for.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 6:20 pm

      I’m glad that you can reach for a glimmer of hope, Scott. Please don’t give up!

      Reply
  41. LJ Sedgwick says

    December 11, 2018 at 1:25 pm

    Taking the time to ‘be’ instead of ‘do’ is hard…but well worth doing! And anyone who’s ever learned to knit or crochet knows the value of persisting when things get hard!

    Merry Christmas!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 5:37 pm

      I’m not a knitter and always imagined it to be quite a meditative activity!

      Merry Christmas to you, too, LJ. And thank you for all your support this year 🙂

      Reply
  42. Vinod says

    December 11, 2018 at 1:23 pm

    Such a nice article. We live with our own self almost all the time in life. Yet we keep running from our own self. We even constantly have self talk with ourselves. Most of the time, it is filled with worries, fears and stress. If we are able to twist this self talk a bit and become our own friend pampering, supporting and encouraging ourselves, then it’s indeed possible to enjoy being alone.. i love being alone most of the times as it gives me enough time to know about the real me. Thank you again for bringing it in to notice… have a great holidays ahead.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 5:36 pm

      Yes, it’s so true that our self talk often centers around worries and stress, but we can change the narrative and be more self-compassionate. Great comment, Vinod. Thank you, and happy holidays to you, too.

      Reply
  43. Mark Crosling says

    December 11, 2018 at 1:19 pm

    A beautiful post Henneke.

    Have a wonderful Christmas with family and loved ones.

    Warmly,
    Mark

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 5:34 pm

      Thank you, Mark. Wishing you a wonderful Christmas and happy New Year, too!

      Reply
  44. Granny Judith says

    December 11, 2018 at 1:12 pm

    Hi Henneke.

    You are the best thing of 2018 for me. With words you have encapsulated so much that was washing around in my being. I cannot wait to put more of it into practice.

    I have always been a furious “doer”. Now, as I am older, I can’t keep up with my head and have discovered another way. To make space to “be” (I have just sat in the winter sun and read a bit!)

    With little rewards you feel more robust and vigorous and the impossible is achieved in no time. When your instincts and emotions are working you find answers.

    How I wish I had had all this armour in my youth!

    Go to it you youngsters!

    Thank you for sharing your story Henneke. You have given us a great gift.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 5:34 pm

      After many years of doing, it isn’t easy to stop doing, to pause and to start “being.”

      I’m still learning, but I can already appreciate this is a worthwhile journey.

      Thank you for your lovely comment and for sharing your story, Judith. Best wishes for 2019!

      Reply
  45. Ryan K Biddulph says

    December 11, 2018 at 1:06 pm

    Henneke this is 100% what I am about. 3 years ago I lived in a remote jungle. I was forced into being LOL, and wrote a post during my 1 day in town explaining how I’d been a doing monster, and genuinely stepped into being in the jungle. It mirrors your spot on message. Fabulous fabulous post!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 5:31 pm

      I’m so glad it resonates with you, Ryan. Thank you for all your support this year!

      Reply
  46. Doris Edwards says

    December 11, 2018 at 1:00 pm

    A deep and honest text which touches me deeply. Thank you Henneke. When my mind gets out of hand and fear threatens once again, I find it soothing to call upon The Power of Now (Eckart Tolle).

    All the very best to you. Look forward to reading you again next year.

    A big hug. Doris

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 5:30 pm

      Thank you, Doris. I love it when writing (or other forms of art) can comfort and soothe us.

      Best wishes to you for the new year, and a big hug, too.

      Reply
  47. Kathy Keats says

    December 11, 2018 at 12:58 pm

    What a wonderful tribute to 2018. I love the idea of how we hide by doing, and are afraid of being. Skills can be a good stepping stone, like the first step of a journey, but ultimately we have to get comfortable with our ‘self’’. Thank you for an inspirational year!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 4:16 pm

      And thank YOU so much for all your encouragement, inspiration and friendship. ?

      Reply
  48. Anne McColl says

    December 11, 2018 at 12:53 pm

    Isn’t it wonderful that as you peel back the layers of your business, it’s really more about life than writing. Simply beautiful!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 4:15 pm

      Thank you, Anne. I’ve certainly found that what hampers my writing, usually is an issue in life, too. Writing has taught me a lot about myself.

      Reply
  49. Josh Acol says

    December 11, 2018 at 12:45 pm

    Awww… I felt “me” here so much, dear Henneke.

    I can see myself just as what you narrated. I am in the habit of always doing things and keeping myself busy as I feel scared of my thoughts when everything and everyone are dead silent and asleep.

    Yes, I would and I will definitely try to learn just being “be”.

    Thank you so much for this great inspiring post. Your awesomeness in writing infects me again and again, everytime I read your articles.

    Wishing you too, a Blissful Holiday season ahead with your loving fam!

    Much, much grateful,
    Josh ??

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 4:14 pm

      Wow. Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Josh. Learning to just “be” isn’t an easy journey, but well worth it.

      Wishing you a restful holiday season, too. ? 🙂

      Reply
  50. Godwin says

    December 11, 2018 at 12:44 pm

    You’re an amazing role model Henneke! I would love to meet you in the real life.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 4:12 pm

      Thank you, Godwin! 🙂

      Reply
  51. Sarah says

    December 11, 2018 at 12:23 pm

    Just beautiful. I too loved the maths analogy, and the line “Our emotions tell us who we are and what matters to us.” So true and so eloquently said. I’ll remember and share this.
    Have a lovely Christmas and enjoy the holidays Henneke. I’ll look forward to reading more from you in the new year.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 4:11 pm

      And thank YOU for all your support, Sarah. I appreciate all your encouragement.

      Wishing you a lovely Christmas and happy holidays, too. See you in the new year! 🙂

      Reply
  52. Berdine says

    December 11, 2018 at 12:16 pm

    Dear Henneke, thank you for your sharing. This hasn’t been the easiest of years and I also had to learn the lesson again that I am not a human-doing, I’m a human being. The moment I let go and trust the process is the moment that miracles show up.

    I wish you a break of your choosing, may it be fulfilling and replenish your soul. Thank you for putting words to your experiences and sharing it with us. I love your posts and learn something new every time. You teach me to be brave to share my truth! Definitely one of my great “finds” of 2018. ?

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 4:10 pm

      It’s kind of weird that we talk about ourselves as human beings, but our default seems to be “human doing.” Where does this busyness keep coming from?

      I hope you’ll have a lovely break to refresh your energy and replenish your soul, too.

      Thank you so much for your beautiful comment, Berdine ?

      Reply
  53. Bev says

    December 11, 2018 at 12:15 pm

    I can’t believe this popped up in my mailbox when it did. I’m stuck on a book I’m writing and was considering telling the client I can’t do it. I felt like giving up!

    Thank you so much. Take care and be blessed.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 4:07 pm

      I so know that feeling. Sometimes, a little break can help, too, or discussing why you feel stuck with a friend. I hope you’ll get unstuck soon, Bev!

      Reply
  54. Ahmed Adeagbo says

    December 11, 2018 at 12:08 pm

    Thanks so much for this wonderful post yet again. I’ve learnt a lot of incredible stuffs from your blog posts. And this is no exception.

    Now I know that anytime I’m faced with a mountain of difficulties, I should never use a game or a break to cover up. I should learn to face my worries immediately they arise.

    God bless you load. Happy Holidays.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 4:06 pm

      Thank you so much, Ahmed. I’m glad my blog posts are useful to you. Happy Holidays to you, too. 🙂

      Reply
  55. Nandhini T S says

    December 11, 2018 at 12:05 pm

    As a beginner in writing and explorer of digital marketing, your work ignites a spark and makes me want to try harder!

    Love,
    Nandhini

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 4:06 pm

      Thank you, Nandhini. I appreciate your comment. Happy writing!

      Reply
  56. Paul Couchman says

    December 11, 2018 at 11:59 am

    Thank you that was inspirational and amazing. I particularly loved the maths analogy and now understand why I found (and still find) maths so difficult.

    thank you

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      December 11, 2018 at 4:04 pm

      I found that such a fascinating example, too! Thank you for stopping by, Paul.

      Reply

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