Can I skip the opening sentence for this post?
Pleeeease?
Let’s say you skip reading the first few sentences and start with the fourth?
Or fifth?
I don’t like the pressure of writing a first sentence.
What if I fail to engage readers? What if I’m boring them? What if I’ve wasted my time on this article because my first line sucks?
The task of writing a first sentence can paralyze even the most acclaimed writers. In an interview with the Atlantic, Stephen King admits he can spend months, or even years, on writing the opening lines for a new book.
Sounds crazy, right?
As business writers, we don’t have the luxury of time. We have other things to do than worrying about one line of text.
So what can we do?
Let me share with you a trick for writing a first sentence super-fast. But first, let’s define what a good opening line is.
Okay?
An outrageously good opening sentence
This is how the novel “Nervous Conditions” by Tsitsi Dangarembga starts:
I was not sorry when my brother died.
Why is this sentence good?
It entices you to read on.
That first sentence creates drama because it instantly raises two compelling questions in readers’ minds: Why did the brother die? And why was the author not sorry? A reader reads on because he wants to find out the answers to these two questions.
Stephen King says it like this:
An opening line should invite the reader to begin the story. It should say: Listen. Come in here. You want to know about this.
One of the most famous opening lines
This is how “The Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger starts:
If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.
This famous opening line is 63 words long.
Is such a long sentence a good idea?
Ben Blatt analyzed what makes a good novel great, and he also reviewed first sentences. His conclusions are not clear cut, as he summarizes in his book “Nabokov’s Favorite Word is Mauve:”
The first sentence is only as popular as the rest of the book, and brevity alone will not make a first sentence great.
Our literary heroes may write lengthy first sentences.
But when writing for the web, we need to remember our readers. They’re not curled up on a comfy sofa with a book and a glass of Rioja. They’re hurrying across the web, searching for interesting articles to read and share. Who has the patience to start reading a block of text?
So, instead of following J.D. Salinger’s 63-word mammoth sentence, take your cue from Toni Morrison, the master of short first sentences, like this one from “Tar Baby:”
He believed he was safe.
From “Paradise:”
They shoot the white girl first.
From “God Help the Child:”
It’s not my fault.
Each of these sentences makes you curious to read on.
Your first sentence has two purposes. First, get people to read your first sentence—a short sentence works better because it’s easy to read. Then, make sure they want to read your second sentence.
The worst opening lines
Ben Blatt quotes the opening line of the book “Paul Clifford” by Edward Bulwer-Lytton as one of the most ridiculed opening lines ever:
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Not only is that sentence awfully long, its worst crime is that nothing happens. Nothing grabs attention. Nothing makes me curious. It’s simply a description of the weather. So what?
Of course, in business we rarely write about the weather, but you may have come across similar opening lines that fail to whet your appetite for reading more. For instance:
Many ways exist to choose your words.
As you know, Rome wasn’t built in one day.
In business, you have to take risks.
Duh!
The above opening lines may be short, but they’re obvious statements, killing readers’ interest. There’s no incentive to read on.
A little-known shortcut for web writers
Getting nervous about writing a good first sentence?
No need for nerves, when you know this blog writing trick …
Unlike novels, a blog post is often a conversation with our readers. And what easier way to engage readers than asking them a question?
A few examples:
Do you hear that nagging voice, too? (source)
Do you ever feel a pang of envy? (source)
Has it happened to you, too? (source)
In a face-to-face meeting, you often start a conversation with a question, like: Cup of tea? How did your meeting go? Or: How’s business?
Why not do the same in your writing?
The one magic opening line doesn’t exist
So, no need to search for it anxiously.
Instead, remember your reader.
Imagine him hurrying across the web. He’s feeling restless. He’s impatient because he’s been wasting his time reading lousy blog posts.
How can you engage him? How can you make him read your first sentence? And then the next?
A good writer draws a reader in, and doesn’t let him go until the last word.
Recommended reading on opening sentences:
Captivate readers with your opening paragraph
How to write cliffhanger sentences
How to write a sparkling sentence
‘Remember your reader’ — great , genuine advice!
I often start my intros with a question mark, it gets readers interested to hear more…
Yep, “remember your reader” is the essence of good writing (but it’s easy to forget).
Thank you for stopping by, Codrut! 🙂
Hi Henneke,
I never paid attention to the opening lines until three years ago when a content manager at a company told me to entice readers a little with the opening line of the blog post.
Boom.
The best part is that I did experiments with different versions of the opening lines.
I figured out that it’s an art, meaning, you have to understand the nuances — you should be enticing the readers by giving something away and holding some part of the story to keep them reading.
I’ve experimented with questions, short-sentences, and telling a story right away at the beginning of the article.
I must say it’s important to put out the right words/lines to get started with your article.
Great topic and article. Thank you.
I totally agree with you on experimentation. I try not to get stuck with one type of opening lines as it feels like it becomes too predictable. I’m not sure readers would notice if they read a post every other week. But when it feels to me like I’ve used a particular technique too often, I try something different.
Thank you for adding your thoughts. I appreciate it.
I’m glad to hear that.
Thank you.
Suspense!
Indeed 🙂
Henneke, you’re a mind reader! I was wrestling with the opening of a short post and strayed towards my inbox to distract myself and there I see your email titled “how to write a magic opening line …” !!
Thank you for compiling great and lousy openings, as it would’ve taken me years to do this myself 🙂
Awesome!
Yes, I’m a mind reader 😉
I’m glad the post came at exactly the right time for you.
By the way, another trick is to write your first line last.
Happy writing, Syed!
Hi Henneke,
Another great post from you! It is indeed difficult to strum up an opening line – be it an email or a blog post.
I noticed an error in an otherwise amazing write-up and thought I’ll let you know – The ‘Cather’ in the Rye.
Keep writing brilliant stuff!
Best,
Vinita
Oops. Good catch. Thank you for letting me know. I’ve corrected it.
Great post. And great opening line too!
I can see what you did there 😉
You voice your own discomfort about writing opening lines, and hey presto, you’ve got an excellent opening!
Emotion and authenticity: works every time.
It was definitely authentic. I was seriously feeling the pressure and was thinking to myself, “I really don’t want to write this first sentence.” And that’s when I wondered how I could skip it 🙂
I like how you phrase the combination: emotion and authenticity.
Thank you for adding your thoughts, Bart 🙂
Brilliant!
Thank you.
Thank you, Shirley 🙂
Yes, the dreaded opening stumps me too. I love your examples, Henneke. Even Stephen King gets stumped. (I feel better).
“It was a dark and stormy night” is so famous (and bad) it inspired an annual fiction contest. Would be fun to give it a try this year. What do you think?
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
That contest sounds like so much fun. We have until the end of June to enter 🙂
Okay, I’m marking my calendar. We’ll put bad intro writing to the test 🙂
I’ve marked my calendar, too. Let’s do it 🙂
Although I agree we need to get people’s attention, I’ve changed how I write for the web. I used to try to write clever opening lines and titles in my blog posts, but changed all that for better SEO. According to my SEO app (Yoast) the opening line of a blog post, post title, subtitles, and also YouTube videos and video descriptions (according to YouTube’s own best practices guidelines) has to contain your keyword/key phrase. And that’s not usually the most eye-grabbing sentence. There really is no way around this unless you get lucky with your keyword/key phrase.
I also use the Yoast app for SEO. This allows me to write two blog title versions – a slightly more interesting version that you see at the top of the blog post (How to Captivate Hurried Readers with a Magic Opening Line), and a keyword-focused version specifically for SEO. In the case of this blog post, the SEO version is: How to Write a Good Opening Sentence (With Examples).
I’m no SEO expert, but I don’t think it’s necessary to have your keyword in the very first sentence; just the first paragraph is okay. Even so, I still often ignore this rule and Yoast still gives me a “green light.” I seem to get good rankings as long as I tick a few of the SEO boxes but not necessarily all.
It’s definitely an area I struggle with, but the results (especially on YouTube) speak for themselves. Possibly because I write/create videos more about tech stuff. And I use other tools than Yoast for YouTube SEO. Maybe writing in a non-boring way while keeping SEO happy, is a good topic for a future blog post.
I can imagine YouTube is different and I have no experience there. But I can write about the balance between readers vs SEO for blog writing. I’ve noted it down. Thank you for the idea 🙂
Love this!
Thank you, Stephen. Was there something specific that appealed to you?
I’ve always loved your posts. This one included. In signature Henneke style you deal with this worthwhile topic with perfection! That was going to be my opening line. But now that you’ve reminded me of the importance of brevity, I’m thinking that it may have been too long to grab you. 🙂
Your description of changing things up when you feel you’re getting into a first-sentence-pattern resonates with me. I was horrified when my partner said “It’s good…but why do you always start the same?” after reading a blog post I’d written. That was my wake-up call to watch out for those sneaky little patterns that try to park themselves in our writers’ brain!!
It’s really easy for a sneaky pattern to go on repeat. It has worked and you know it works, so you keep doing it. I think it happens to all of us from time to time.
Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Lee.
I loved reading this article, and have shared it with my writers! We forget that first impressions count, both in life and in the world of words!
Thank you so much for sharing, Shane. And yes, first impressions count 🙂
Henneke –
Thanks. I enjoyed the Stephen King article.
I especially like the tip to start with a question? Although I’ve discovered editors do not like this approach because it often gets edited out.
What do you think?
BTW, you reminded my favorite opening line fail:
“It goes with saying …
That is a fantastic fail. I wish I had thought of that 🙂
With editors, I think it’s a matter of style and education. Editors with a journalism or academic background may have different views on what sounds right. But blogging is quite different from academic writing or newspaper reporting.
I just checked my old Copyblogger posts, and more than half of them start with a question, so their editors haven’t edited the questions out.
Yes, that makes sense. Those were editors with traditional print magazine backgrounds.
Copyblogger is one of my reference points too. 🙂
Even as I clicked the link I found myself thinking “this time for sure she’ll let me down” even while a chuckle escaped my lips as once again I was caught up from the first sentence.
I’d hate to disappoint you, Marie. I’m glad I didn’t 🙂
Hi Henneke,
Every time i read your posts, i learn so much.
Thanks for doing such a great job always.
Thank you so much, Sola. I appreciate your compliment 🙂
Great one, Henneke!
It’s far better to have trouble thinking of a great opening line, than it is to think you ARE writing one and be wrong! Haha!
I think your great suggestions also could apply to the excerpt we might apply when sharing on social media. If we are sharing an excerpt, the opening line of the article might not appear for the viewer. It’s something to think about.
I have a couple of questions, though.
For the loyal repeat reader, would the constant use of a startling or a questioning first line become tiresome?
If we use a question for the title, is it redundant to use one for the opening line?
So far my most-visited posts have straight-forward titles and first lines. I’m excited to see what I can drum up with the new, improved versions.
I think the key is the word that Stephen King uses: inviting. As long as your opening sentence (or opening question) invites the reader to start reading, it doesn’t become tiresome. But if you try to be too clever or repeat a similar phrase too often, then it might become tiresome to loyal readers.
I try mixing it up. Sometimes using questions, sometimes inviting statements.
If you have a question for the title, then the opening line could be a follow on question but it can be an inviting sentence, too.
Ironic, I was just studying ‘first lines’ myself! And the common theme was…”make it inviting”. Not iconic. Exactly what you’ve said here. If it happens to get that label, fine. That’s out of our control. But we can write a sentence that makes a reader curious enough to keep going.
What a coincidence!
I like the suggestion that your first sentence doesn’t need to be iconic. My feeling is that a first sentence can’t even be iconic. It’s the book that makes famous opening lines so memorable. For instance, a lot of people say “Call me Ishmael” is their favorite first line. I haven’t read Moby Dick (yes, I know, something wrong in my education), so I don’t get at all why that first sentence would be so good. It’s the book that makes the line memorable.
I read recently that using headlines that can be answered NO is a bad idea because people don’t want to click to read on… It was specific to headlines, but I’m wondering if it applies to to opening lines also. Thoughts?
Yes, that’s especially true when writing sales copy. In sales copy, you only want to use questions that people answer YES to. When you get them in the mode of agreeing with you (nodding Yes), then you increase the chance that they may agree to take up your sales offer, too. In contrast, if they think NO, then you risk them turning away.
In blog writing, you have perhaps a little more leeway, as long as you invite readers to read on.
Thanks! Always finding a question that can’t be answered no is tough, so I’m glad to read that inviting along once they’ve arrive is also good.
When trying to think of the right question, think of your ideal reader (or buyer persona). Only your ideal reader has to say (or think) YES. It doesn’t matter if people outside your target audience say NO. The question acts as a filter, so you only attract the right people.
My first sentence could have been: “Struggling to write a compelling first sentence?” The blog post isn’t written for the people who think NO, so it’s okay if the question makes them click away.
This is great. Often, i start my posts with one or two questions to intrigue my readers. I’ll try to experiment with other opening lines.
Great! I hope you’ll enjoy your experiment 🙂
Thank you for stopping by, Vincent.
This one is great, I usually find myself forgetting the captivating role of the first sentence. I now know how to keep them by my side from start and hopefully through the end.
Can it apply in a news-style writing?
Thanks so much Henneke.
News-style writing is usually a bit different as it doesn’t aim to get people to read from start to finish. So, in news reporting, you often get the main message of the article in the first sentence. Journalists call it the inverted pyramid: you put your most important information first, and your least important information at the end.
When I write the fiction – I often write something off. And it intrigues the reader.
For example,
Adam is guy who killed. And she kills it.
And then I write a story about feminine Adam who kills it in fashion industry. And apparently is murdered.
It is a fun game for me. And an interesting opening line for readers.
Thanks Henneke, keep writing more…
You got it!
Maybe one day I try writing fiction, too. I’ve never tried it. There’s still enough non-fiction for me to write 🙂
Thank you for stopping by, Rohan.
Sometimes we get ahead of ourselves. We become focused on getting the information on paper and our first sentence can overwhelm.
And it can be a pain to create but with examples like the ones you’ve provided Henneke, there’s a road to follow. Thank you for the clarity.
I’m glad you’ve found the examples helpful, Judy 🙂
One other trick is to skip writing the introductory paragraph of a post. I find this the most difficult part to write, so I prefer writing the main body first. Then, the opening becomes more doable.
Thank you for stopping by.
I’ve found that the way that works the best for me is to imagine I’m talking to someone. If I write conversationally, then I get better results and that definitely applies to the first line too!
That sounds like a great approach as you can’t forget that you’re writing for your reader.
Thank you for stopping by, Sarah. I appreciate it.
This is the perfect post for me at the perfect time. Thanks for the well articulated tips. Going try this for my next post. Thank you much for the great inspiration.
Great. It makes me happy that you feel inspired. Thank you, Rosie!
Hi Henneke,
More often I’ll write my opening sentence after I’ve written the main body of the article. It saves sweating hours over the crucial opening before you have anything down on paper (aka the screen).
I’m also fond of using questions, although I challenge myself to use different openings, so I don’t become too predictable. And if I’m not mistaken, when you write for Social Media Examiner I believe you have to use two questions at the beginning of your article. (Take a peep, and you’ll see what I mean.)
Thanks for sharing your tips.
– David
I do exactly the same. I write the main body of the article, and then the next day I write the intro and final paragraph. It feels more doable that way.
The Social Media Examiner openings feel quite formulaic, don’t you think? Or maybe it’s just me.
Have you noticed I used one (!) exclamation mark in this post? Especially for you 🙂
Thank you for stopping by, David (and for tweeting!)
I didn’t like to mention it…
But it fits perfectly! (oops)
🙂
This is an awesome article. Thanks so much for shining a light on a subject that strikes fear into the hearts of most writers.
Thank you, Cary. Happy writing!
Hi Henneke
I love reading everything about everything on blogs and you’re right, what makes me want to continue is how the writer captures my attention at the beginning.I am going to do this on my blog. Thank you
Great! Many people may be skimming blog posts, but with a good opening we have a chance of engaging readers, so they actually read from our first to our last word. Happy blogging, Jane! And thank you for stopping by.
Excellent hook leading off this post Henneke. If you spend a moment to think through the opening line, or, a bit longer, you reel readers in. Kudos to Stephen King for spending such time getting his open down cold. Reminds me of George R.R. Martin’s works. Genius writers take their time to make a seismic impact.
Ryan
Thank you, Ryan. I’m glad you enjoyed the hook 🙂 And yes, I agree with you, spending a little more time on writing an opening line can pay off.
Thank you for stopping by!
I recommend Hooked: Write Fiction That Grabs Readers at Page One & Never Lets Them Go by Les Edgerton for writing epic opening lines! It might be for fiction but the principles are similar.
Thank you so much for the recommendation, LJ. I’ve added it to my reading list and look forward to reading it!
Thank you, Henneke. Again, nicely done. 🙂
Thank you, Lucas 🙂