Sigh.
Harvey is reading his draft blog post.
He knows his tips are useful but why is his writing as dull as dishwater?
He tried so hard.
He varied the rhythm of his sentences to make readers feel like they’re tangoing through his words. He sprinkled a few power words to make a stronger impression, just like upping the volume of the music to create a better atmosphere on the dance floor.
But his writing is not quite buzzing yet …
Suddenly, Harvey remembers what his writing teacher used to say:
“Metaphors and similes are the spices of writing, adding color and personality to your words.”
Ha, thinks Harvey, to stay with the dancing metaphor, metaphoric writing is like being the most flamboyant dancer on the floor—the dancer who attracts all attention with his glittery suit, his swinging hips, and his natural smile.
Want to know more?
Examples of similes
Recently, I reread The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. I had forgotten how vivid her writing is, especially in the beginning of the book.
With just a few details, she’s able to set a scene or characterize a person. For instance:
This poet ate his salad with his fingers, leaf by leaf, while talking to me about the antithesis of nature and art. I couldn’t take my eyes off the pale, stubby white fingers travelling back and forth from the poet’s salad bowl to the poet’s mouth with one dripping lettuce leaf after another.
Plath uses a lot of imagery (leaf by leaf; pale, stubby white fingers; travelling back and forth from bowl to mouth; dripping lettuce leaf) to help us imagine the scene.
Similes can provide a shortcut to painting such vivid imagery:
His arms chopped the air like khaki windmills.
Similes compare two different things (such as the movement of arms and windmills) by using like or as. The only difference with metaphors is that metaphors make comparisons without using like or as. Here’s another simile example from Plath:
I slid into the self-service elevator and pushed the button for my floor. The doors folded shut like a noiseless accordion.
Similes not only add vividness, they can also help illustrate emotions with concrete imagery. In the following example, Plath illustrates how the narrator of the story feels disconnected from the vibrant city life:
The silence depressed me. It wasn’t the silence of silence. It was my own silence.
I knew perfectly well the cars were making a noise, and the people in them and behind the lit windows of the buildings were making a noise, and the river was making a noise, but I couldn’t hear a thing. The city hung in my window, flat as a poster, glittering and blinking, but it might just as well not have been there at all, for all the good it did me.
I used to think we have to be careful not to use too many similes or metaphors as we may confuse our readers with a roller coaster of imagery. But Plath makes me re-think this. In parts of her book, she uses similes almost every other paragraph, and she stuffs three (3!!!) similes in one sentence to describe the narrator’s feelings of inadequacy:
I felt like a racehorse in a world without race-tracks or a champion college footballer suddenly confronted by Wall Street and a business suit, his days of glory shrunk to a little gold cup on his mantel with a date engraved on it like the date on a tombstone.
Confusing readers with a roller coaster of imagery is still a risk, so if you’re in doubt, I’d turn the volume down rather than up, and delete a simile rather than add more.
Similes don’t always need to be original
Similes can be used in any type of writing, whether you’re a business blogger, a newspaper columnist, or a crime writer.
Raymond Chandler is another master of similes. He uses a wide variety in his books. Sometimes, his similes are simple and short, almost cliché. This is from his book The Long Good-Bye:
Bald as an egg
And:
(…) dead as a Pharaoh
Other similes are more unusual and vivid:
his eyes were like holes poked in a snow bank
And:
‘Alcohol is like love,’ he said. ‘The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.’
Using similes or metaphors carries some risk because we don’t always know how our readers will react. Jack Hart warns us in his book A Writer’s Coach, that similes “fall flat as often as they surprise and delight.”
But does it matter when a simile occasionally falls flat?
Probably not. So, don’t be afraid, and experiment with similes or metaphors because they add a splash of color to your words.
Similes help shape your voice
Grace Dent is a columnist and restaurant critic. She also uses similes in her writing, often to comic effect.
She describes her mother during lockdown:
My mother, in her 80s, is being guarded like a rare Fabergé egg, albeit a furious egg that finds this enforcement ridiculous.
How could a precious Faberge egg be furious? By making her similes slightly ridiculous, Dent adds a touch of fun to her writing.
Dent, who’s vegan, describes a Zoom chat with her meat-eating boyfriend:
On last night’s Zoom chat, an anniversary, he was sitting in his pants after work, eating some godforsaken cut of an animal he’d found in his freezer, drinking a beer and listening to the awful, trumpet-heavy jazz that he likes and that I loathe because it makes me feel as if I’m being chased by bees.
The cascade of contrasting imagery—the Zoom chat, the cut of animal, the trumpet-heavy jazz, and then the chasing bees—make the writing fun.
As Plath, Chandler, and Dent show us, it’s good to experiment and play with similes. It’ll help you find your voice.
Similes vs metaphors: What’s best?
Unlike similes, metaphors compare two things without using like or as. Here’s an example of a metaphor from Dent:
Each time I try to amend the grocery order, the website falls over, punch-drunk and exhausted. For a few terrifying minutes, it flounders. Then it stands up again and refreshes.
Dent compares the website’s behavior with a punch-drunk boxer without making the direct comparison using like or as. That’s why it’s a metaphor rather than a simile. But the difference doesn’t matter a lot. She could have used a simile instead:
Each time I try to amend the grocery order, the website behaves like a punch-drunk boxer, falling over and floundering for a few minutes, before refreshing itself.
Generally, a metaphor sounds stronger than a simile. So, if possible skip like or as but don’t worry too much about it. Instead, have fun coming up with your own vivid imagery.
Your writing is like a dance with your reader
So, put on your dancing shoes.
Switch on the music, hold a rose between your teeth, and make your hips writing swing.
See you on the dance floor, my friend.
Books mentioned in this post:
- The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
- The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler
- A Writer’s Coach by Jack Hart
Recommended reading metaphors, similes, and personification:
Personification examples: Add pizzazz to deadly dull sentences
Metaphor examples: Liven up your writing
Imagery examples: Paint vivid pictures with a few words
Really good. I often read your writing and it improves my writing as well.
Great!
Hi Henneke. Thanks for the writing tip. I absolutely like the fact that similes don’t have to be original! I have just enrolled for your course!
Thank you so much!
I’m glad you enjoyed this, Erumena. Happy writing!
I love your writing style. It is very captivating and engaging. Your tips are invaluable. I have just enrolled for your course, but was wondering if you have published a book on the subject.
Thanks for providing such wonderful content!
Thank you for your compliment, Fidel. I don’t have a book specifically about metaphors and similes but I do have a book on writing blog posts. You can find details of my courses and books here: https://www.enchantingmarketing.com/books-and-courses/ (books at the bottom)
Hi, Henneke! I was actually mixing up the two websites, until I realized that this was actually your site and it had all the information I needed. Thank you! I will look into it. By the way, you should tell your web administrator (wordpress theme developer) to verify the decrecaption message wordpress issues at the footer of the page. It is a very long message above the footer links. Thanks once again for your brilliant content and I love the character you use in your articles.
Thank you for letting me know about the error message. I’ll look into it!
The character in my drawings is Henrietta. She says hello to you 🙂
Haha! I cannot decide which is my favourite: dull as dishwater or dead as a pharaoh 😉
I like dull as dishwater. It’s actually a common expression in Britain. I don’t think it’s widely know in American English but I’m not sure.
Thanks for this wonderful tip, it helped me a lot to know more about similes and metaphors that will develop my own voice, as well as my writings. I’m planning to start my novel this day but I think I need more motivations and writing tips, suddenly writer’s block attacked me. Love from Philippines.
Oh no! I hope you’ll find a way to dance around your writer’s block soon. Remember, you can create a crappy first draft and improve it later on.
Thanks a lot Henneke,
This is helpful. And it was pleasure to read – most of your writings are.
Thank you so much for your compliment, Jeremiah. Happy dancing! 🙂
Super helpful!
Clear and simple…yet also inspiring!
Thank you for sharing your passion and wisdom in writing. 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed this, Jennifer. Happy writing! 🙂
I was reading some of my older articles, thinking they’re way too pedantic. I want to edit and repurpose them and this came at a perfect time.
I’m planning to start updating a few old articles, too. I’ve been resisting it (with only a couple of exceptions) as I prefer writing something new but I think it’s better to review and update old stuff, too. Thanks for your nudge!
These examples will surely help me for my next articles. I have more than 5 articles to finish this month. This simile will help me to finish my blog articles in a interesting way and of course readers are going to love it.
I hope you’ll have fun finishing your articles, Abdullah! Thank you for stopping by.
Surely, it will help me..
Hi Henneke. I so love the way you write and all the amazing ideas you come up with. Double thumps up! My writing doesn’t even come close. I noticed something regarding the punch-drunk simile where you refer to a drunkard. I think the writer meant it more like a punch-drunk boxer. Sorry to be pedantic. ?
You’re absolutely right. I’m not sure how I got that wrong! I’ll correct it now. I appreciate your friendly suggestion and your compliment on my writing. I’m sure your writing is much better than you think!
Are “like” or “as” a word, or are they “words?” shouldn’t the statement: “. . . compare two things without using the word like or as.” read, . . . words like or as.”
I don’t know. I’m not a grammar teacher because I sometimes mix up grammar rules in different languages. For me, there’s a difference between “using the words like and as” vs “using the word like or as.” But that might be a grammar rule from a different language! I’ll remove the phrase “the word” to avoid the issue.
Guess I’ve embarrassed myself. 🙁
This was my first sojourn into your excellent site, and I didn’t realize you were multi-lingual.
Coming from one who is still struggling with one language, your indulgence is much appreciated . . .
Not at all. I’m writing in English and I should get it right. I should get a proofreader to check my posts but don’t really have the time & budget for it. I do hire a proofreader to check my courses and books. On my blog, a reader usually spots it when I get it wrong 🙂
I love this! Gene
Thank you, Gene. Happy dancing! ?
This article was soooo excellent!!! I’ve been dreading my next article. Now I will enthusiastically re-attempt it! Thank you!
I know. It happens to me, too, and I have to remind myself to get a crappy draft written down, no matter how bad. The fun can be added while revising. Happy writing, Marsha!
Excellent blog as always, Henneke! Reading it was like reaching into my rusty toolbox to find my Swiss Army knife that can fix just about anything. Thanks!
Ha, yes! And that Swiss Army knife has some more handy tools to fix any writing. Fabulous. 🙂
Hi, I needed to hear this today after re-reading some work I wrote last night and not just thinking, knowing, that it was dull as a politician’s speech during COVID-19 and boring as an insurance sales call! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Thanks
Adding just a couple of similes or metaphors can instantly make a difference to a blog post so no need to worry about a dull first draft. It can be rescued when editing 🙂
Your similes are excellent 🙂
Ag Dankie, Skat. I am a master of English, but so love the Afrikaans and other languages that can give such a twist to writing. Who else loves a little ‘cross language’?
Dankje. En ja, I’d happily read a couple of words in another language but I’m not sure how many would understand. Happy writing!
Thank you for reassuring me that it’s ok to use similes and metaphors even in serious blog posts 🙂 I am new to blogging so I question absolutely everything.
I think seriousness is overrated. Most people want to connect to real human beings online so showing some personality gets my vote 🙂
Cute and funny, Henneke. And true.
Thanks for this great reminder, and the links to your past work! I love an extended metaphor, which I know you do, too.
But what do you think of occasional “verbing”. Perhaps: “I slid into the self-service elevator and pushed the button for my floor. The doors accordioned shut, noiseless.” Of course, over-doing any little trick can be counter-productive…
Yes, I love an extended metaphor, too. You know me too well!
I think “verbing” can be fine; it can make a sentence more concise (but sometimes it spoils the rhythm).
In this case, it redirects the emphasis to quietness and away from shutting. I have not read the book, so cannot know which would be more desirable, but concise is fun.
Too concise can be too intense for pleasure reading.
Yes, so true. Too concise can be too intense or too boring as it can lack detail and preciseness.
In the original sentence “The doors folded shut like a noiseless accordion” the words noiseless and accordion linger in our minds a little as they come last even though the sounds are softer and the rhythm is less abrupt than the middle of the sentence (“shut like”). This suits the author’s voice.
Hey Henneke, You gave me more work to do for my future posts. I never heard of these words earlier glad you shared.
Thanks for sharing and making me to work more.
You are awesome.
Thank you, Suresh. Happy writing!
Thank you for your refreshing reminder that it’s ok to have fun with our writing.
Yes, it’s more than just okay to have fun with our writing. The fun is contagious and our readers will sense it. Happy dancing, Patricia! ?
Another excellent piece. Very thought provoking as I sit here with my chin in my hand staring off into the distance. I still struggle with my writing style sounding too much like business, engineering or tech pablum – nourishing but still bland. Time to insert some free form dancing like Dancing with the Stars professionals.
Your comment doesn’t sound like tech or business blah at all. You can do it. Happy dancing! ?
Love this post Henneke. I try to make my words dance like you. Truly an inspiration to me with every post you share.
Thank you, Poovanesh. I appreciate your compliment. Happy dancing! ?
Hi,
Thank you for this knowledge.
You’re welcome. Happy writing, Gemma!
Hi Henneke,
Thank you for sharing. Similes and metaphors are black peppers of writing to make it spicy.
Yes, the black peppers or the chilies or perhaps even the cilantro? Lots of color and taste 🙂
I love this! I have always spoken with crazy metaphors and similes…now it’s time to write them too! This will be a great post to remember on my (new) writing journey. Thank you.
Thanks so much, Nathalie. Happy writing! ?