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4 Subtle Mistakes with Verbs: Don’t Make Readers Yawn and Editors Cringe

by Henneke | 94 enchanting opinions, add yours? :)

Using verbs correctlyWhy should you care about verbs?

As long as you know your irregular verbs, you’re okay as a writer, right?

This post isn’t about boring grammar goofs.

And it’s not a post full of complicated Latin words and grammatical terms either.

The mistakes below are more profound than a small grammar faux pas. What’s more important: Once you know how to correct these silly mistakes, your writing becomes stronger, more engaging, and more persuasive.

Sound good?

Let me tell you a quick story first …

My boyfriend and I hadn’t been dating for long

And on one memorable night, we went to the movies: A documentary about Tibet.

18 years later, my husband still teases me about it.

The cinematography was breathtaking. The topic interested me—a few years earlier, I had traveled to Tibet, and was fascinated by the culture, the people, and the landscape.

But still …

I fell asleep.

How could that happen?

There was little action in the movie. What could have been a 60-minute story was dragging on for over 3 hours.

Yucky verbs have the same effect. They drag readers down and make them yawn.

Verbs form the engine of your writing

Each sentence requires a verb to be complete.

Verbs indicate action, explaining an activity: she swims, she jogs, she cooks, she draws, she writes. Verbs also help explain what a situation or experience is like: she hears him talk, his lecture confuses her, she feels stupid.

The right verbs add action and drama to your writing. They make sales copy persuasive, and thrillers nerve-wrecking. Without the right verbs, your writing becomes flimsy, feeble, and sluggish.

Want readers to stay glued to your content? Avoid the 4 subtle mistakes below, so your writing becomes strong, compelling, and engaging.

Let’s start …

#1: Don’t undermine your persuasiveness

Want readers to get excited about working with you?

One trick is to let them imagine what it’s like. When people start imagining how good it is to work with you, their desire to hire you increases.

This is how you shouldn’t stir your reader’s imagination:

Feeling overwhelmed? When you work with me, I help you get a grip on your to-do list. Before our coaching call, you will get a questionnaire as preparation—you should write down all your tasks and what’s bothering you.

During the call, we will set your priorities together. We will discuss simple tactics to stay focused so you can squeeze more work into your precious hours. At the end of the call, you will feel lighter. Your to-do list will have shrunk. You’ll have a clear action list, and you’ll know how to move your business forward. Without getting stuck. Without feeling overwhelmed.

What’s wrong?

Words like will, won’t, or shall indicate the future. But when you use the future tense, readers can’t experience your words. You’ve moved the experience towards the future.

Eliminating the future tense instantly breathes life into your copy, helping readers imagine working with you as they experience your writing:

Feeling overwhelmed? Work with me to get a grip on your to-do list. Before our coaching call, you get a questionnaire as preparation— write down all your tasks and what’s bothering you.

During the call, we set your priorities together. We discuss simple tactics to stay focused so you can squeeze more work into your precious hours. At the end of the call, you feel lighter. Your to-do list has shrunk. You have a clear action list, and you know how to move your business forward. Without getting stuck. Without feeling overwhelmed.

Sounds more persuasive, right?

So, only use the future tense when absolutely necessary.

#2: Avoid wishy-washiness

Words like will and shall are modal verbs.

You hardly ever use these verbs on their own. They don’t express a specific action.

Other modal verbs are can, should, must, would, and could. These words indicate whether something is necessary or probable.

Unlike “real” verbs like run, smash, buy, or dilly-dally, modal words don’t have a strong meaning; and that’s why you need to use them in moderation. A few examples:

You should write down all your tasks and what’s bothering you.

A more powerful version:

Write down all your tasks and what’s bothering you.

With a yucky modal verb:

If you’d like to get your book before noon tomorrow, you must order it before 3pm.

A bossier version:

Order your book before 3pm, and get it tomorrow before noon.

With a yucky modal verb:

You ought to avoid modal verbs, so your writing becomes stronger.

A stronger version:

To make your writing stronger, avoid modal verbs.

Or a more engaging version:

Want to make your writing stronger? Avoid modal verbs.

Modal verbs are useful, but you can use them in moderation. Too many modal verbs undermine your persuasiveness.

#3: Don’t sound evasive

The passive voice makes your writing vague.

Because you avoid telling who took which action. And that’s exactly why presidents and CEOs love the passive voice—they don’t like taking responsibility for mistakes.

This is how silly the passive voice sounds:

You’re much loved by me.

This is how endearing the active voice is:

I love you.

And here’s how presidents and CEOs like to apologize:

Mistakes were made, and we’ve learned our lessons.

Here’s how to take responsibility instead:

I’m sorry. I made the wrong decision.

The passive voice uses more words, making your sentence unnecessary long. But more importantly, it sounds lousy. Gutless.

#4: Don’t pick flimsy and foggy verbs

Feeble verbs make your writing wordy and harder to understand:

To join our exclusive club, submit your application today.

Simple verbs communicate your ideas faster and clearer. They’re more direct:

To join our exclusive club, apply today.

Another flimsy verb:

Her boss gave approval for her proposal.

More concise:

Her boss approved her proposal.

Don’t muddy your meaning by showcasing your command of Greek and Latin:

That word obfuscates your ideas.

A clearer option:

That word confuses readers.

Big words and complicated phrases don’t make you sound more intelligent. The opposite is true. Simple words make you sound smarter.

Want to become a better writer?

Want people to listen to your ideas?

Learn how to pick the right verbs.

Because verbs are the engine of your writing. They make readers feel the action. They move your story forward. They tell readers what to do next, and that’s how they increase conversions—get more subscribers, more inquiries, more sales.

So choose your verbs with care.

PS Thank you to Marlene and Curtis who inspired this post.

Recommended reading on grammar:

Why adverbs stink
How punctuation shapes your voice
99 strong verbs to make your content pop, fiz and sparkle

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Comments

  1. Alexandra says

    November 27, 2023 at 12:16 pm

    Wouah! I love this post!
    Too short! I wanted more!
    Thank you for this exciting and helpful post!
    Have you got written another post about this topic or read any book about it? Thanks!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 27, 2023 at 12:49 pm

      Thank you, Alexandra 🙂

      I wrote more about verbs here: https://www.enchantingmarketing.com/strong-verbs/

      You may also like the book “Vex, Hex, Smash, Smooch: Let Verbs Power Your Writing” by Constance Hale.

      Reply
      • Alexandra says

        November 27, 2023 at 3:52 pm

        Thank you very much, Henneke!
        You are a wonderful person! You help me a lot. I love reading you.

        Reply
  2. Donna says

    March 20, 2022 at 3:01 pm

    Love your teaching style. Kudos.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      March 21, 2022 at 9:23 am

      Thank you, Donna 🙂

      Reply
  3. Wally says

    February 16, 2021 at 9:37 am

    This post was just what I needed to put the spark in an article I’m working on.

    Thanks.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      February 16, 2021 at 9:41 am

      Happy writing, Wally!

      Reply
  4. Zahid Rafique says

    August 9, 2019 at 1:24 pm

    This article is a masterpiece.

    You have added value into my learning. The way you storified it is out of this world.

    Neither wordy or boring- classy and to-the-point, I bet it’s not a piece of cake to come up with such a unique style to share the most common and un-talked problem.
    Writers do face this issue; either they avoid it or don’t want to talk about it.

    Great.

    Keep it up.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      August 9, 2019 at 6:49 pm

      Thanks so much, Zahid. It’s kind of amazing to me that a blog post about verbs has generated over 80 comments.

      Thank you for stopping by!

      Reply
  5. Oleg Gordeev says

    November 14, 2018 at 9:53 am

    Thank you for the great post, Henneke! It’s in line with what I am reading now – On Writing Well by William Zinsser.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 19, 2018 at 5:36 pm

      That’s a great book. Happy reading, Oleg!

      Reply
  6. Mike says

    November 10, 2018 at 11:11 pm

    I’m guilty of this.
    Thank you for this great article.
    I learned a lot 🙂

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 12, 2018 at 9:02 am

      I’m glad you found it useful, Mike!

      Reply
  7. Jobelle A Pascual says

    June 15, 2018 at 5:12 am

    I love this. This helps me a lot today. And I will read your other posts. Thanks, Henneke.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      June 16, 2018 at 12:14 pm

      Thank you, Jobelle. Happy reading!

      Reply
  8. Vatsala Shukla says

    December 29, 2015 at 7:10 am

    Hi Henneke

    I tend to get defensive when people tell me I ‘should’ do something and try to avoid using it as much as is possible. Thanks for sharing the alternatives.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      January 2, 2016 at 6:25 pm

      Thank you, Vatsala. Sounds like your mind is as rebellious as mine! 😉

      Reply
  9. SEO Rob says

    November 18, 2015 at 12:13 am

    Great post 🙂 I love your ‘cut to the chase’ tips.
    I’m finding a lot of my copy still has lingering issues with verbs.

    Great Reminders.

    Thanks Henneke.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 18, 2015 at 2:43 pm

      It’s a tough job to spot all the tiny opportunities for tightening text. With practice, we get better at spotting them.

      Happy writing!

      Reply
  10. Peter T. Britton says

    November 16, 2015 at 8:59 pm

    It boils down to this; use active verbs and present tense. Stay in the now and keep the action moving.

    I started in the broadcast news business. I learned to write, “He says” not “He said.”

    Also, avoid gerunds. They suck the life out of verbs.

    IMHO

    Peter T. Britton

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 16, 2015 at 9:04 pm

      Yep, that’s a good summary!

      Thank you for stopping by to share your honest opinion.

      Reply
  11. Tom Southern says

    November 15, 2015 at 9:29 pm

    Hi Henneke,

    Yikes! Grammar. The thought of it almost makes my head explode in a Scanners stylie. Great work making it easy for timid souls like me. I’m always trying to tighten up my writing to make it flow and pull readers along – willingly.

    -Tom

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 16, 2015 at 8:55 pm

      Yeah, I know, the idea of grammar makes me shiver, too!

      Glad you enjoyed my tips, Tom. I appreciate you’re stopping by! 🙂

      Reply
  12. Teri says

    November 15, 2015 at 7:07 pm

    Dear Henneke,
    thank you for all the advice you give. It helps me to craft my words better.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 16, 2015 at 8:49 pm

      Great! Thank you for letting me know, Teri.

      Happy writing!

      Reply
  13. Sarah Townsend says

    November 15, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    I’ve always loved your posts, Henneke, but this is my favourite.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 15, 2015 at 1:14 pm

      Wow. That’s lovely to hear! Thank you, Sarah 🙂

      Reply
  14. Cat says

    November 13, 2015 at 11:17 pm

    I always enjoy your posts Henneke! This one is fab too!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 14, 2015 at 8:15 pm

      Thank you so much, Cat. Nice to “meet” you! 🙂

      Reply
  15. Terri Cruce says

    November 13, 2015 at 9:06 pm

    I love this post! This is an area I’ve struggled to overcome. I called it being too wordy. But I think I was really making these mistakes. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 14, 2015 at 8:14 pm

      You’re welcome. 🙂 I appreciate you’re stopping by again, Terri!

      Reply
  16. Andrew says

    November 13, 2015 at 12:10 pm

    Hey Henneke,

    Great post. As I was reading the part about modal verbs, I felt somewhat embarrassed because my writing is littered with some words like that…and I didn’t know they were having a negative effect on what I write .

    Truly awesome job explaining it so well as you always do. I have to do a better job at writing in the present.

    – Andrew

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 13, 2015 at 2:18 pm

      Hey Andrew,

      It’s natural to use modal verbs. We use them a lot when we talk, and they appear a lot in my first drafts, too. It’s just that when you delete a few (you can never delete them all), your writing becomes stronger.

      So, no need to feel embarrassed! 🙂

      Reply
  17. Joan Bell says

    November 12, 2015 at 4:30 am

    I read your post and then went back to work on my new website pages and laughed out loud. In one paragraph I deleted 3 will’s and one ‘very’. Gotta say, it sounds better and more like me. Thanks Henneke, very timely post.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 12, 2015 at 11:02 pm

      It’s amazing how much different a few of these tiny words can make, isn’t it?

      I like what you write about making it sound more like you. That’s why I don’t think “write like you talk” is good advice. We have to edit our text so it sounds conversational, so it sounds like us.

      Reply
  18. Brent BlackLion Nelson says

    November 12, 2015 at 1:04 am

    Henneke,

    I appreciate your wise verbiage. 🙂

    Present is where it’s at!

    Blessings,
    Brent

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 12, 2015 at 11:01 pm

      Yep, let’s live in the present tense.

      Thank you, Brent.

      Reply
  19. Michael Kearns says

    November 11, 2015 at 11:07 pm

    Great post Henneke. I’m about to take a course involving Mark Ford’s Power of Persuasion and this is a good prelude

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 12, 2015 at 11:00 pm

      Have fun with the course!

      Reply
  20. Annamarie says

    November 11, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    Hi Henneke,
    thanks for reminding me about verbs, while writing my second story the first one is waiting to be edited this, once again is coming at the most needed time.
    Love and Blessings
    Annamarie

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 11, 2015 at 10:07 pm

      That’s lovely to hear, Annamarie. Thank you!

      Reply
  21. Bart Schroeven says

    November 11, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    Your advice is much appreciated by me 😉 (sorry, couldn’t resist)

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 11, 2015 at 3:08 pm

      And your comment is much appreciated, too 😉

      Reply
  22. Doug Francis says

    November 11, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    Not often do I re-read a blog post, but you had a lot of helpful reminders here. Thanks!

    The example, “Mistakes were made, and we’ve learned our lessons,” made me laugh out loud since I seem to hear that quote daily! (I’m in the U.S.)

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 11, 2015 at 3:09 pm

      Thank you for coming back for a second serving 🙂

      I don’t think it’s only US politicians who like using that phrase. Mistakes were made, and we’ve learned our lessons; it’s now time to move on. 😉

      Reply
  23. Singaravelu says

    November 11, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    If the salt is too much or too little in the lunch, then it doesn’t taste good.
    Similarly, we need to use the verbs carefully with right measures in our writing.

    I got this now, Henneke, please let us know few more examples to practice the correct usage of verbs. 🙂

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 11, 2015 at 3:11 pm

      Are you still hungry? 😉

      Reply
      • Singaravelu says

        November 12, 2015 at 3:33 am

        Yes Henneke 🙂

        Your writing is like Salt. (not the Salt of Angelina Jolie). I mean the “Cooking Salt” an essential day to day useful product, we cannot live with 🙂
        We take your blog examples and use it to express our thoughts in our blogs.
        Just now, we celebrated Diwali in India.
        The speciality is we use Salt, even in the Sweets we make. Yes Henneke, we use little bit of Salt in the sweets in an exact proportion to make the sweet taste good.

        So, salt is used in salty and in sweety products. Your writing is exactly same to that.

        I can only imagine and compare your writing upto this as this is the example I got in line with the Diwali festival we celebrate here in India.

        That is the reason for the delay in reading (learning) your blog and to reply this late.
        Oh, you are well aware that we celebrate Diwali in a phased manner, in South India and in North India.
        Please Henneke, come to India, as a tour. Why just Tibet ?
        Are you hearing this little tweet from this Indian Bird?
        Vedanthangal Bird Sanctuary, Chennai is now open for visitors up to June 2016.
        Plan, Come and enjoy the birds eye view. Nearly 55,000 birds all over the world come here.

        Okay Henneke, until your next post, we will wait for a treat from you 🙂

        Reply
        • Singaravelu says

          November 12, 2015 at 3:40 am

          little correction: we cannot live without meaning to say “indispensable”
          your writing is now becoming indispensible
          Keep writing and enchant our knowledge and our grammer.
          Thank you Henneke,
          P.S : Now, if I make a mistake, I prefer to correct it immediately.

          Reply
  24. Singaravelu says

    November 11, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    Thank you Henneke,

    Understood the usage of verbs, like a pinch salt to lunch.
    This gives a clear idea for me to improve my writing.
    🙂

    Reply
  25. Obed Ken Jnr says

    November 11, 2015 at 9:55 am

    Great content is indeed not difficult to create. Simple mistakes such as in 1 and 2 only wreck your epic content.
    Henneke, thanks for opening my eyes.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 11, 2015 at 11:44 am

      You’re welcome 🙂 Thank you for stopping by.

      Reply
  26. Paul says

    November 10, 2015 at 7:37 pm

    Thanks Henneke. I agree – to put it crudely “will” and modals seem to constipate the message. I always edit for unnecessary “wills” and modals. They creep in because we often use them in conversation.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 9:53 pm

      Yep, well put. And that’s why we shouldn’t write like we talk! 😉

      Reply
  27. Fiona says

    November 10, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    Another great grammar lesson. Where were you when I was at school? Totally love the lessons you serve up.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 9:52 pm

      Where I was when you were at school? I guess we’d have to know each other’s age 😉

      Glad you enjoyed the post!

      Reply
  28. Elvire Smith says

    November 10, 2015 at 7:15 pm

    YAY, Henneke, another fab blog. Just when I needed it for writing my sales letter. Dank je wel!!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 11, 2015 at 12:09 pm

      Thank you, Elvire. Happy writing!

      Reply
  29. aida suarez says

    November 10, 2015 at 7:12 pm

    Henneke, Since I want to sound smart in my writing… from now on using your suggestions,
    I will choose my verbs less in my writing. Going to the point, not going around in circles.

    And yes, I fall sleep on movies also. More so now that I am of old age.
    Funny note on your husband teasing you when you did. Ha!

    Anything dragging bores me to death, and I start fidgeting right away.
    May be I am too impatient! But tell your alter ego lady not to look at me like this. Ha!

    I will take your writing lessons as soon as possible. We having one for free today. Thanks friend!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 9:50 pm

      The funny thing was that I hadn’t even realized I had slept through half the movie, until my husband said something about a specific scene afterwards and I hadn’t seen it …

      Reply
  30. Michael says

    November 10, 2015 at 7:02 pm

    I love reading your articles for the 2nd and 3rd time. I get something new each time, whether it’s additional clarity or something I completely missed before.

    Thanks so much for “recycling” “old” content!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 9:48 pm

      Yeah, I do my best not to recycle, but I do often touch on the same themes. I’m not getting too repetitive?

      Reply
  31. Lynne Wilson says

    November 10, 2015 at 6:22 pm

    Thanks Henneke – I will look out for this when writing. Interesting to see the difference in your examples. I can’t remember ever learning this stuff at school (or maybe it was just too long ago to remember!) So feels like I’ve learnt something new here 🙂

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 9:47 pm

      I sometimes wonder what we were taught at school. I don’t think I learned about this either. To be honest, I don’t quite remember how I was taught to write.

      Thank you for stopping by!

      Reply
  32. Jon P says

    November 10, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    Henneke, this is great advice. Sally Hogshead’s motto is “live in verbs”. This post shows us how to bring those verbs to life.

    Thanks!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 9:46 pm

      “Live in verbs” – I hadn’t heard that before, but I like it!

      Reply
  33. Laurie Stone says

    November 10, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    So true, Henneke. Verbs are the workhorses of grammar. That’s why authors like Stephen King hate adverbs so much. They take the place of working with great, descriptive verbs.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 9:45 pm

      Yep, fewer adverbs, stronger verbs. It seems so easy, yet we all get sloppy with our words.

      Reply
  34. Margaret Webster says

    November 10, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    Terrific stuff Henneke! Thank you!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 9:44 pm

      You’re welcome 🙂 Nice to see you again!

      Reply
  35. Saleem Rana says

    November 10, 2015 at 3:58 pm

    I actually never thought of these ideas. So obvious when it’s spelled out. I have been “willing” my way around words for a long time, when all I had to do was leap into the present tense.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 9:44 pm

      Yep, leap into the present tense. It’s more fun 🙂

      I love the way you put that!

      Reply
  36. Raymonda says

    November 10, 2015 at 3:28 pm

    Great post. I’m brand new to copywriting but I really enjoy reading every bit of information on the subject. This was great info that I can put into action today!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 9:43 pm

      Thank you, Raymonda. Happy writing!

      Reply
  37. Thuy says

    November 10, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    As always, your writing is enchanting :-).
    I love the way you illustrate (not only with your drawings but also with the examples you provide) your tips: simple and effective.
    Today’s article is also very helpful for me to improve my English.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 9:42 pm

      I love using examples. But you probably knew that already 🙂

      Thank you for stopping by, Thuy. I appreciate it!

      Reply
  38. JorBS says

    November 10, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    It was very enchanting. Thanks a lot.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 3:13 pm

      You’re welcome 🙂

      Reply
  39. Kitty Kilian says

    November 10, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    I think I could somehow love you, more or less. 😉

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 3:10 pm

      🙂

      PS
      I think you’d have run out of the cinema before falling asleep. Or perhaps you’d have been smarter than me and not gone to that movie 😉

      Reply
  40. Eric says

    November 10, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    Hi Henneke,

    As someone who works in an office environment, your use of the word “gutless” to describe the passive voice is great!

    I love your posts like this. They always give me a couple new tools to keep in mind when I’m editing my writing.

    Thanks!
    Eric

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 2:46 pm

      I’ve worked in an office environment for a long time, too, so I know … 😉

      Thank you for stopping by, Eric!

      Reply
  41. Tia says

    November 10, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    Hi thanks for all the great tips!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 2:24 pm

      You’re welcome 🙂

      Reply
  42. Anca Dumitru says

    November 10, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    Oh wow, guilty as charged! On all four counts. Thanks, Henneke, for pointing these out. I know quite a few pieces I wrote, and even some web copy (mine included), where I’ve made these mistakes. Off to fix what it is to be fixed… 🙂

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 2:24 pm

      You’re not the only one!

      Thank you for stopping by, Anca. Happy fixing! 🙂

      Reply
  43. Kelly Beischel says

    November 10, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    Thank you Henneke. So simple. So true. I enjoy the engaging version of asking a question of the reader.

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 2:22 pm

      I like using questions, too. A few questions sprinkled over your content make the tone a lot more engaging.

      Thank you, Kelly.

      Reply
  44. mohinish says

    November 10, 2015 at 2:04 pm

    Hi, I loved this post.
    BTW you can also post on “transitive verbs” if that’s important for copywriting! And I don’t know why but something didn’t feel right with the changed para, here’s my attempt:
    “We set your priorities together, during the call.
    And when we’ve discussed simple tactics to stay focused—you can squeeze more work into your precious hours.
    By the time we finish, you’re lighter, with a smaller to-do list. Armed with a clear action list you now know how to move your business forward. Unstuck, ready to take charge.
    (any thoughts, or I’m doing some newbie mistake)
    Regards

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 2:21 pm

      Yep, sure. You can make more changes, but I wanted to show how much difference only eliminating “will” makes.

      Glad you enjoyed the post! 🙂

      Reply
  45. Darcy says

    November 10, 2015 at 1:38 pm

    I love how you demonstrate what you are teaching in the article itself. I try to shorten by half whatever I originally write. Now I have better tools for slicing down my text like a ninja wordsmith. I’m also showing this to my kids. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 2:17 pm

      Yep, when I edit my text, I change quite a few verbs. “You can” and “you should” sneak in far too often 😉

      Reply
  46. Stan Dubin says

    November 10, 2015 at 1:18 pm

    Wasn’t sure I had the time to read this when it first came in, but delighted I did!

    One heads up. Near the end you said: “Big words and complicated phrases don’t make your sound more intelligent.” Did you mean “you sound”?

    Reply
    • Henneke says

      November 10, 2015 at 2:15 pm

      Yep! Corrected.

      I must stop making last-minute changes because that’s how mistakes often sneak in. Thank you for the heads up!

      Reply

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