Heather is sitting at her desk, staring at her laptop.
For the umpteenth time, she’s anxiously scrolling through her LinkedIn feed.
So much content.
Mostly bland.
Even some popular posts feel rather non-descript.
Heather wants to be different. She wants her writing—her newsletter, blog, LinkedIn posts—to be human, to be personal.
Why write if your followers just shrug their shoulders?
Heather doesn’t want to chase a big audience; she wants to have real conversations and make real human connections.
She wants to make a difference and make the world a better place.
But how?
How to write like a human
This post is inspired by Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly.
Brown writes about wholehearted living:
Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.
Writing like a human also requires cultivating courage, compassion, and connection:
- Practice the courage to show up, be yourself, and be vulnerable.
- Write to sell, to market, or to teach, but always put human connection first.
- Foster compassion in your writing—compassion both for yourself and for your readers.
Brené Brown shows us how …
1. Let go of the shiny mask of perfection
Wholehearted writers don’t write to impress, to big themselves up, to show off as more expert than someone else.
Brené Brown has spent two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She’s a research professor at the University of Houston. She has a PhD. Her books are bestsellers. She’s delivered not one but two viral TED talks—the most popular one has been viewed 21 million times. (Wow!)
You’d think she knows how to live and love, right?
Here’s what she writes about discovering the importance of self-love in the research data:
Personally, I fought the data with everything I have. Over and over, I heard the idea of self-love as a prerequisite to loving others, and I hated it. Sometimes it’s so much easier to love Steve and the kids than it is to love myself.
And:
I’ll confess that I was motivated by my own struggle to learn how to keep daring.
I used to think that sharing our flaws, weaknesses, and struggles would damage our professional image, but the opposite might be true.
We get to know Brené Brown and appreciate her work even more because she shares her personal stories, her own struggles to live more wholeheartedly, and her attempts to dare greatly.
Of course, being vulnerable is not the aim. It’s about being real and human. My rule is to leave a piece of me in every piece I write.
Sometimes, I share only a tiny piece—like a personal comment. This post is mostly about Brown’s teaching but there’s still place for a personal note here and there.
Sometimes, I share a bigger piece of me, like when I posted on LinkedIn about comparing myself with others and about my mid-project dip.
Sharing a bigger piece makes me feel more vulnerable. But that’s okay. It makes our conversation more real, more human.
2. See your readers as equals
Wholehearted writers don’t write to lecture.
Instead, they’re compassionate and connect from one human being to one other human being—as equals.
Brené Brown stresses how much she has learned from the participants in her research. For instance:
One of the questions I’m most often asked is “Don’t you get really depressed talking to people about vulnerability and hearing about people’s darkest struggles?” My answer is no, never. That’s because I’ve learned more about worthiness, resilience, and joy from those people who courageously shared their struggles with me than from any other part of my work.
As content marketers and bloggers, we’re often told to build our authority so people become eager to listen to and learn from us. But being an authority doesn’t mean we have to climb on a pedestal to lecture or preach.
When I write, I imagine having a cozy conversation—just you and me. And I know I don’t need to have all the answers; you can fill in the gaps, or we can leave the gaps there.
Authority without humanness seems rather boring.
So, don’t write to impress. Write to help your readers. Write to express your ideas, to start conversations, to make friends.
3. Foster your self-worth
Want to improve your writing?
I hear you.
We can always improve our writing; and that can feel painful.
Here’s the thing …
Acknowledging room for improvement doesn’t mean we’re not good enough right now.
It’s like with any skill. Even Wimbledon champions can still improve their tennis game. Even world-class violinists still want to get better.
Brené Brown is a bestselling author, who’s written several books including The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, and Rising Strong. Yet, she admits, how hard writing can be:
I was recently struggling to finish an article. I called a good friend to tell her about my writer’s block, and she immediately responded by asking, “What are the gremlins saying?” This is a very effective way of asking about the shame tapes—the messages of self-doubt and self-criticism that we carry around in our heads. My answer was “There are a few of them. One’s saying that my writing sucks and that no one cares about these topics. Another one’s telling me that I’m going to get criticized and I’ll deserve it. And the big one keeps saying, ‘Real writers don’t struggle like this. Real writers don’t dangle their modifiers.’ ”
Struggling to write is human.
So, let’s be kind to ourselves.
Let’s acknowledge we want to improve but also: let’s remind ourselves we’re already good enough.
You are not your work.
If your inner critic tells you that you’ve messed up and that you’re a bad writer, be sure to correct them. No one is a bad writer. All of us are learning to write better. And all of us mess up sometimes. It’s okay to feel disappointed by a lack of response or hurt by criticism but it doesn’t make you less worthy.
You belong here—like all of us, and your voice deserves to be heard.
You are already good enough.
Sometimes, I get tired of watching people’s shiny showreels
I get tired of all the success stories, perfect hair, and perfect pictures.
You, too?
Fortunately, you and I can be different.
We can lecture less. We can write with more heart. We can have real conversations and build friendships.
Keep writing, my friend.
Human content wins.
Recommended reading on writing like a human:
How to write from the heart
10 tips to write more conversationally
How I write
This post brings great hope. Thank you putting all your words out without lecture. Reading this, I feel rather, like I’m walking up on a door that has a glow along the bottom edge, and it is open a few inches. As I continue to read, I feel my thoughts slowly push open the door and I see a room filled with a warm yellow light coming from a lamp that sits on a desk, and I see myself, joyfully writing there!
You’re sketching such a beautiful, warm-hearted image. I love it. Thank you for sharing, Kit, and happy writing!
An interesting read indeed. As a beginner copywriter and going into entrepreneurship, I have gone through quite a number of websites, and I see that their blog posts are saturated with formality; as a reader I personally find it a n
I will give two quick examples: some years back I was in need of a service, so I looked up some apps on the internet. I signed up with two service providers who integrated email as part of their marketing strategy.
While one was very formal in their email (and I wasn’t pleased to receive them, I usually shrugged when the mail arrived my inbox), the other was human in its content marketing efforts and I was ever ready to read the latest blog posts. As a result, I patronized the latter rather than the former and I also discovered that many customers had a good experience with that brand & fell in love with it because of its human touch.
Now here is my question; I like to feel a human connection when dealing with a brand. Formality might be addressing a bigger crowd but sometimes I cannot help thinking that emotional attachment might just be ‘unprofessional’ or worse, addressing a small audienaudience that is, making lesser sales. Would a mix of both be great?
What do you think?
It’s not like you have to choose between formal and informal. It’s a sliding scale, so you can be little informal, a bit more informal or very informal.
See for instance my article on conversational writing: https://www.enchantingmarketing.com/conversational-writing/
You can also use informal language without sharing personal stories, so informal need not be emotional.
We may associate formal language with bigger businesses because their tone tends to be more corporate or even robotic. But that’s not necessarily true. Apple is a huge business and while their web copy can be quite technical, they also use conversational language. Oatly’s copy is also very informal. There are many more examples.
So, to decide on a brand voice, think about a member of your target audience. What tone would resonate with them? And what suits your brand?
I mostly write for small businesses and solopreneurs like coaches and consultants. For them, a human approach usually works better.
This resonates to my core, Human Queen! I so needed this. Thank you for being so raw and real.
Thank you, Helen. Let’s all keep it real. xx
Your emphasis on writing with sincerity and emotion is a breath of fresh air in a world dominated by formulaic content.
Thank you,Brandon. It feels more natural and more real to me. I couldn’t keep writing if I was just applying formulas and filling in the blanks.
This post resonates with me on so many levels. In a world of polished, surface-level content, it’s refreshing to be reminded of the importance of being real and vulnerable in our writing. The connection between courage, compassion, and connection is such a powerful way to approach content creation, and it’s something I strive for in my own work.
Thank You for Sharing it.
Thank you, Kumar. Let’s all be more real!
I have to admit: this blog empowers and inspires ! Both at the same time. And now I’m loaded up enough to go and express my thoughts on a Linkedin Post that’ll have more of human side to my observations.
Thank You Henneke.
That’s such a lovely compliment. You put a big smile on my face. I love it when people feel inspired and empowered by my work. Thank you so much, Akshay. Happy writing!
Thanks for sharing. It’s been a while here.🌺🌻
You mean I’ve been here a while? Or you’ve been here a while? Maybe we’ve both been here a while. 🖤
Beautiful post today. Thank you for sharing your humanness with your readers.
Thank you, April, for your lovely comment.
For me, this article is a brilliant example of why it’s good to write about something even if you know you aren’t the first to do so.
I’m always trying to connect with my audience and bring more of myself to what I write. I think about it, read about it and try to do it. I still feel that I don’t do it very well though. But this line in your article…
“When I write, I imagine having a cozy conversation—just you and me.”
…just hit me round the head. Oh! That’s how you do it!
Thank you Henneke 🙂
Yes, yes, that’s how I do it. I think of you and if I get stuck, I imagine you cheering me on 🙂
This article is fantastic! Thank you for the encouragement and the thumbs up to fostering human connection and vulnerability. I felt this part: “Real writers don’t struggle like this. Real writers don’t dangle their modifiers.” Except that sometimes we do…silly gremlins.
Thank you, Dyanne.
Isn’t it reassuring that even someone like Brené Brown who’s written and achieved so much still gets pestered by her gremlins?
And yeah, silly gremlins.
Thanks for these words of inspiration and wisdom Henneke! I loved scrolling back through the comments over several years and seeing how all of this work we do rings true, if we show up and trust our own wisdom.
I love that you mention trusting our wisdom. That’s so true. Thank you!
Thank you, Henneke. Great article once again.
Thank you, Ralph.
Thanks Henneke. Lots to think about. The important thing is to not give up and stop. The struggles will continue as long as we are trying to write our best, and have a positive impact on our readers.
The upside is continued learning and personal growth.
It happens slowly in my case, but is tied to how much I write.
Which is never enough.
All the Best.
I think most of us feel like we’re not writing enough. But sometimes, it’s just is what it is. More isn’t always possible.
Happy writing, Barry!
This was a fun read, Henneke! Thanks for sharing your studies with us!
I just realized I had a plan in my thoughts that I never followed through on, to rewrite some of my dormant content, to give it more personality and see if it would fly again with new followers.
Now I feel as if I have a roadmap for that plan (not to mention a loud call!) and could easily begin immediately, instead of “someday”. 🙂
Also–tada!–I think my email is working! 😉
Rewriting dormant content is great. I’ve started doing it more often, too.
I know you’ve been writing for a long time, too, so it’s great to give those old posts an uplift and reshare. Refreshed old posts can be more valuable than completely new ones.
And yay that your email is working again!
Another column that I needed to read this morning. Thanks, Henneke. I have an article and a newsletter to write today, and they’ll be fine, but I appreciate this boost of courage and encouragement. (I love that both words, from Latin and Old French, are about heart, because we all need more heart.)
Ooooh, I didn’t know that. That’s so good. The heart as the seat of courage.
And yes, we all need more heart.
“Less head. More heart.” as Beth Kempton writes in her book about Wabi Sabi.
Excellent reading. Thank you.
I wonder what AI’s effect on content writing will be. Actually it’may affect anyone who wants to put a paragraph together.
Thoughts?
AI can assist but I still prefer writing myself because I see writing as a human interaction. I don’t ask AI to ring my parents or visit my friends either. Writing is personal for me. I wrote more about it in December: https://www.enchantingmarketing.com/why-i-write/
I would like to write a book about my life and experiences. I haven’t the faintest idea how to start. I asked Siri and your site came up. I enjoyed reading the information. Thankyou… I agree about sharing the struggles…. And imperfections.
How interesting that you asked Siri and that Siri recommended this site. Sometimes, you just have to start writing to discover what you want to say and what the theme of your life story is.
Thanks for the great tips! I couldn’t agree more that the advice to share your struggles and imperfections is timeless because it makes you so much more relatable.
I’m glad you agree. Thank you for stopping by, James.
Oh my god. I can’t possibly explain how much this article helped me. This is exactly what I wanted to hear. This article is my favourite so far.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
If you enjoyed this, then you’ll probably like Brené Brown’s book even more. I highly recommend it! Thank you for stopping by, Merin. I appreciate it.
I have to admit I was scared to read this post. For some reason, I feared you’d tell me to share 100% of my personal life with readers, which is something I would never do (sharing too much of myself and my life with strangers – I even stopped writing too personal posts on my personal blog). But reading the post I see that it’s something I was already doing and that I should continue doing and get better at. 🙂
Thanks for the reminder, Henneke!
– Luana
I don’t like oversharing either! I’ve become braver over time and shown more of myself in my blog posts but I don’t think it’s necessary to share everything. I don’t write to rant or whine. I always hope that when I write something personal, others will find something useful in the lessons I’ve learned. It sounds like we’re on the same page 🙂
Thank you for reading and for stopping by, Luana. I appreciate it.
Typically I read blogs hardly 2, 3 paragraphs but this post grabbed my attention till the end. I first time read your post and became your fan. Your post is really inspiring.
Thanks for sharing this post, Henneke!
Thank you for reading my writing and for becoming a fan. 🙂
Hi Henneke!
It’s really good advice. Thanks for that
I’m glad you found it useful, Saad. Happy writing!
Hey Henneke,
After a long time got to see a posts that is so meaningful . You have a unique way that makes me feel like i am getting advice from an old friend who genuinely cares. I love how passionate and motivating the writing is . It made me rethink so start over my writing job which have been held up for a while now.
This was the message I needed to hear.
Yes, I do genuinely care. I’m delighted you feel motivated by this. Happy writing, Nicki!
Thanks for the great tips! I couldn’t agree more that the advice to share your struggles and imperfections is timeless because it makes you so much more relatable.
I’m glad you agree, Alison. Thank you for stopping by.
Thank you Henneke, for this article. I read it at just the right time, sitting as I was, staring at my laptop!
It had not occurred to me that writing could or should include within all that pointed demonstration of our expertise in an area, flashes of our true selves, including our flaws. But I had been googling this very subject in order to understand what happened to me last week. Last week, having run out of ideas for my next post, I rather desperately and at the time, flippantly, joke-wrote a post about my delight at a new piece of work equipment – very boring equipment, but wholly necessary to my profession. I wrote about the retirement plans of the old equipment and included a photo of me looking delighted (goofy, or slightly manic, possibly) with the new ‘thing’. I wandered off to get some food, not intending to post the joke-post, and then circumstance took over and by the end of the day, I’d not replaced it with anything “more sensible” as I had intended. So I published it, half-wincing and not intending to re-embarrass myself by looking at it’s response rates. The next few days I had a load of appointment bookings I did not expect, I didn’t think too much of that until I happened upon the joke-post again three days later. Well, it had gone down a storm! I couldn’t believe the response that it gathered. It was a revelatory moment, understanding that sometimes, my audience likes to see me, actually see me! through all the professional commentary and expert-positioning. I decided to look in to that further, to see how much more of it I should risk. And here I am! So thank you again.
What a great story. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Nina. It also shows how important it it to experiment from time to time.
Hahaha….the shiny show reel. I love that term Henneke. I share my low lights too. Helps me write like humans write, sharing highs and lows, as humans experience.
I recently followed a local high school basketball team. The #1 junior basketball player in the USA played for the team, and he is a future NBA player too. Amazing talent of course but people only only watched highlights (shiny show reel) never saw the low lights (failures and areas for improvement) I saw up close and personal, observing him in game settings. We need to see and share both to understand….the *rest* of the story.
Ryan
Yes, to sharing both the highlights and the low lights! The low lights are often more interesting.
Thank you for stopping by Ryan, and for sharing the story of the junior basketball player. When you see the failures, it’s much easier to appreciate how much effort people put in to improve.
Hey Henneke,
Here after a long time and like always loved your post. I do missed reading your posts as I was busy with one of my new projects, but will be regular from now on.
Keep up the good work.
~ Donna
Good to see you back, Donna. I hope your new project is running smoothly. Thank you for stopping by!
ooooh — ??♀️
more realness online…
how wonderful that would be!
if we slowed down virtually in quiet and subtle ways that we (still) resist doing in everyday, real life
it’s possible and as far as I’m concerned the only worthwhile way to inter-net
I like your point about slowing down. It’s hard but worth it.
Thanks so much for stopping by, Azhaa.
Hello Henneke,
The words written here are the words of a mother. Who is able to instruct with tender touch, correct wisely and firm, yes, I still struggle to write, because I am passionate about writing, and when I read yours, it encourages me to keep up, and don’t give in.
Thanks so much for the inspirations.
… Paula Akhile.
Please, don’t give up. Keep going! Your writing will get better over time. It will!
Another fine read. Thanks for such useful advice.
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Aditya. Happy writing!
Great tips Henneke..
You have really driven your point well. Showing a little more into your private life can make your audience connect better to you.
And there is something going in the industry… I see bloggers writing content on
“What’s in my bag?” “What a typical day for me is like?”
Contents like this has helped exposed a bit of the blogger while still making him a professional at his work.
I think we all have to find our own ways of sharing a little bit of ourselves. I’m not sure I could write an interesting post about what’s in my bag. But who know … maybe I have to try one day?
Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate it!
Dear Henneke,
You touched my heart long ago with your words and sketches, but this time it was a deep one, very deep.
I just loved every word and found myself studying (what else do medical college grads do habitually? 🙂 the post and more importantly living the words. I am not on the same level as you are as a writer, but human hearts can be similar and are more similar than is generally accepted.
I say this out of living very intimately with many Europeans, Americans and even people as far away as Peru during my days as an active missionary. None among us tried to hide our feelings as it was easier to be oneself. I was somewhat amazed at that time, meeting all these volunteers on different kinds of visas, just to be able to do something out here in India; and they did a lot. I digress, but that is the situation that helped me understand that the human heart the world over is more or less the same.
While reading this post, my emotions were kindled and at the same time, it was comforting to know that we all have clay feet in different facets of life.
Thank you very much for the heart moving post, it did two things, encouraged me, and made me reach out to a Brene Brown book and even before I came to your link found a paperback copy at less than $5 and purchased it immediately.
I will get it Thursday,
Thanks again, Henneke
Nicolas
Dear Nicolas
Having lived in different countries, too, and having worked with people from across the world online, I’ve found that we can sometimes feel more connected with people at the other side of the world than with our next-door neighbors. Indeed, as if our hearts are similar.
I hope you’ll enjoy Brené Brown’s book as much as I did.
Thank you so much for stopping by again.
This is a simple truth that we sometimes forget. Sometimes we let SEO and content marketing strategies take over our writing – I know I do.
Yes, it’s easy to let business objectives to take over and to forget that we’re writing to connect with humans. Sometimes, it can be a fine balance.
Thank you for stopping by, Rosa!
Dear Henneke,
your articles are always inspiring us. And make us think how to improve our style and our heart.
I always tell my students to read your blog.
Maurizio
P.S. there is a famous Italian singer, Marco Mengoni, who sings: “I believe in human beings who have the courage to be human” 😉
Here is the text in Italian and in Englìsh: https://bit.ly/39RRA64
Thank you for sharing the song text. I love the line you quoted, and also: “Such a splendor you are // in your fragility.”
Always good to “see” you, Maurizio, and I much appreciate that you’re telling your students to read my blog. Thank you.
Hi Henneke,
Thank you for another authentic post. Your writing always makes me feel like we are chatting over tea and snacks–it has a quiet, genuine strength because of the truth it’s based on.
I love what you wrote about not tying our self-worth to what we do (and what we are trying to do), as well as the reality check on the seemingly perfect portrayals we see online.
Thanks, too, for encouraging support of our local bookstores, even though you provide an Amazon affiliate link–that’s just another example of the authenticity that brings me back to your site over and over again.
I pray your health and energy levels improve so you can do more of what you love.
Blessings,
Erika
Hi Erika
I like to think, too, that I’m chatting with a reader like you while drinking a cup of tea.
For a long time, I’ve been tying my self-worth to what I do (and how much I do), and it’s taking me time to untangle that connection but the effort has been worth it.
Thank you so much for stopping by and for your well wishes. ?
Good to read your writing again. I enjoy it. I have been missing you on Instagram. Very happy to meet up again on Twitter. This us where it started anyway, years ago.
Thank you for popping over and leaving a message, Dr. Nicolas. I’ve been missing Instagram, too. I hope that I’ll soon have more energy so I can get back to drawing and to Instagram.
Henneke, you’re going to make me stop writing…the sludge I’m trying to get hired to write…and write my passion. Read this while going over another pros/cons, out-of-the-box, reduce-the-friction brain dump. Dammit, I’m going to have to do something terrifying.
(thank you)
I was a bit worried when I started reading your comment … She’s going to stop writing?!??? But it sounds like you won’t stop writing, just stop writing the stuff that bores you?
Henneke , Thank you for writing this article. I really needed to see this. You see, I’m at a point in my writing life where I wonder if I should be doing something else.
So, nine years ago, I started blogging as a way of dealing with the death of my mom and dad. In time, I branched out into other areas of writing. And always, writing has brought me comfort, hours of wild imaginings as I ponder what my characters will do next, and much laughter, even tears as my characters go through rough times.
Lately, it seems every writing op I’ve looked into has backfired or I get the dreaded rejection email. So today, reading your article on how we all can be vulnerable and have doubts in our writing…it makes me feel better, and not so alone.
Thank you for the great articles that always come to my inbox. I really enjoy and learn from them.
Veronica, Thank you so much for stopping by to share your experience.
I’m glad that writing has brought you so much comfort in the past, while dealing with such a terrible loss.
And I’m sorry that you’ve lost that joy in writing. Rejection can be hard. I hope you find your mojo back soon. ?
Sometimes the topic of one of your articles comes at just the right time. This one will be revisited time and time again.
Thank you, thank you, Barbara. That makes it worth writing this!
As always great advice and content. Thanks Henneke for this beautiful words. Greetings from Spain. ?
Thank you so much, Otto. Sending greetings back to Spain 🙂
Hi Henneke:
Sometimes it’s hard for the human in me to feel good enough as it is and then in writing, add to it the need to drop academic and business thinking to get deep enough to find the flesh. Humanity can kick your butt and also raise you up…a real roller coaster to get to a leveling place… especially for writing!
I LOVE writing and think I am usually writing from the heart as much as from the brain but, still, how much to share or not, is an ongoing struggle. At least I know this much… every time I write, I want to be helpful in some way… like you!!!!
Thanks for another beautiful post and for making ALL writers feel worthwhile, Henneke. You having so many doubts and struggles when you are so exceptionally good gives the rest of us so much hope…
xo, Sue-Ann
Yes, I know. I also find that being human is hard work. But it feels more fulfilling when I can be real and not hiding myself.
I also think it’s true what you say … it’s not just about writing from the heart; we still have to use our brains, too. I think I’ve stressed writing from the heart here as a lot of writing I see online is mostly from the brain?
I’m not suggesting everyone should share similar stories as I’m sharing. We’re all different and we want to and can set our own boundaries.
“Sometimes, I want to run away and become an old-fashioned hermit.” ? Oh yessss, me too! Sometimes I think this internet thing (or at least the smartphones) is/are a curse.
I love how your posts are getting more and more real, Henneke ❤️️ But I wonder how vulnerable can one be in one’s public posts if one’s potential B2B clients are watching? Or is it:
* either show your vulnerability and build a loyal audience who’ll read your blog posts and promote your digital products but scare away serious B2B clients
* or maintain more or less perfect picture and get less readers but more clients
…but not both?
?
I don’t know what in this post would scare away serious B2B clients?
The B2B label can be confusing because in B2B we also work with humans plus there’s a wide variety of B2B clients. I also work in “B2B.” Most of the people who’ve purchased my courses are small business owners: coaches, consultants, online teachers or small service providers (like web developers, photographers, and, of course, a lot of freelance writers). Some run a niche ecommerce business. Most of them are in a similar situation as me: they have to compete with thousands of others, and the biggest point of differentiation they have is who they are. They all look to connect with potential clients on a more human level.
If I’d be targeting people working in large companies, I would have written the post differently (my experiences would be different, too) but the message would still be similar. Brené Brown is also vulnerable in her writing but also works with corporate clients.
Being more real and more human in our writing doesn’t mean we have to show our complete blooper real and bare all. For me, there are also parts of my life that I won’t write about. You can be honest without going naked. We can set our own boundaries.
Hi Gill,
For me, I will strike a balance between loyal readers and paying clients. It may not be easy containing these two groups, but I believe that being real will earn you more trust from both segments. And s Henneke pointed out, showing that you’re human in your writing does not denote revealing your all one’s nakedness. One can be human and not write about certain things, but still maintain clients and readers.
I like seeing a blog as a conversation with an ideal reader, so when I’m unsure about whether to write about something, then I go back to who my ideal reader is and what kind of conversation I want to have with her.
Your customers know you best, and appreciate the truth.
When you are honest about the pros and cons and ups and downs of life they are appreciative in my experience.
Being vulnerable as a a marketing tactic is just dishonest.
So best used wisely. It is also possible to over share .
Yes, so true: “Being vulnerable as a marketing tactic is just dishonest.”
I don’t advocate oversharing and I think it goes back to why we’re sharing something. If it’s to seek attention, then it’s a big no for me. If it’s to help and connect, then it can be a yes if I’m not overly uncomfortable with it (there’s always a bit of discomfort).
Thank you for adding your thoughts on this, Ray. I appreciate it. Oversharing is something I do worry about sometimes.
I am learning so much from you exactly because you write with heart, much like a cook putting their soul into the pot to make their food taste extra special.
Your books are the same way!
“Wholehearted writers don’t write to impress nor to lecture.” — Plaster this everywhere please!
Yes, what a great analogy. Somehow the food tastes better when it’s cooked with love, doesn’t it?
Thank you for your lovely compliment, Cydnie.
If number of comments = resonance with readers = effective writing, then you’ve completely made your point. AED.
Or I just have wonderful readers who are generous with comments 🙂
“Real writers don’t dangle their modifiers.”
Loved that comment.
I’ve got some writing I need to do today. I’m going to dangle those modifiers like ornaments on a Christmas tree. Thank you for a very encouraging article.
I’ve found that I have a lot of gremlins in my head that tell me about the things that real writers do or don’t do, and most of it is wrong.
Thank you for stopping by, Leslie. Don’t let the grammar pedants spoil your writing joy!
What a great article. I am starting a blog and just want to be myself.
With so much info out there, I tried and felt like a robot. That is why I still haven’t got anywhere. Why can’t we just be who we are?
This gives me inspiration to continue.
Thank you
I look forward to more tips.
Yes, please, don’t give up, Chasity. Start somewhere, and you can improve over time.
Wholehearted writing – that is a good phrase!
I like it, too. Inspired of course by Brené Brown’s “wholehearted living.”
Henneke,
You made my day and my week. Your post was the light that opened the possibilities and clarified the direction I want to go with my communication today.
Thank you,
Shirley
That makes me happy. Thank you, Shirley. Happy writing!
Another lovely, worthy article! Thanx, Henneke!
Thank you, Marya. Happy writing!
“A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit-Samuel Johnson, and Richard Bach.”
Handwritten at the beginning of my signed copy of “Illusions.” by the author, Richard Bach (not Johnson, pretty sure that ain’t happening).
Words to live by.
Recently I read, and reread parts of, “Everything is Figureoutable,” by Marie Forleo. Who is someone I always thought as a perfect example of, well, perfection. What I love about her story is how she’s not afraid to let you know how bad she was at a lot of things at first.
But she kept plugging away through the tears and fears, and still does, to get better at writing, connecting and creating a creative life helping people.
Sorta reminds me of someone else who’s posts and stories always inspire, if not greatness at least trying.
Thanks again
Yes, I’m with you—Marie Forleo does seem like the perfect example of perfection.
I haven’t read her book but I’ve watched some of her videos in the past, and she looks scarily professional to me.
You are simply the best, Henneke.Your every post on writing resonate with me greatly.Thank you, thank you. Keep sharing your invaluable knowledge with the world. Lots of love from Nigeria.
Thank you, thank you, Solomon. Sending love back ?
Hello, Henneke, and many thanks for such an honest and true-to-life situation which many of us face at one point or another in their life.
I’ve been writing for quite a few years, as well as proofread/copy edit, and yet, I still have so many doubts that come to haunt me whether I’m a good enough writer or not.
It seems I’m not alone…
Thank you once more,
James
You are definitely not alone. John McPhee wrote in his book Draft No 4:
“Writers come in two principal categories—those who are overtly insecure and those who are covertly insecure—and they can all use help.”
Thanks so much for stopping by, James. I appreciate your sharing your experience.
One of my editors recently changed my title, which is her right, of course, but told me the reason:
Readers are selfish. They don’t care about what you did or why; they only want to know how they can get ahead. The title should not be about “how I did what I did and why” but about how they can get ahead.
I trusted that and let the title stand as she changed it, but it felt so not like me, and really, if I’d changed it, I don’t know if I’d have worded it as she did…
Not sure what I should have done…
Yes, it can be tricky when editors overrule you. It happened to me a few times in the past, too, and I’ve tried to raise it but it’s not always appreciated.
I tend to think that a writer should always have the last word but blog editors don’t always seem to think that way. They feel they have the end responsibility for the blog. It’s even worse when they make changes without the writer’s permission.
I sometimes write “I” headlines and I think they can resonate with people because such a title suggests a personal experience, a personal story or a kind of case study, and that exactly can make the post interesting. Even if I’ve read a lot about a specific topic, I’m still interested in a personal story.
Great article!
Thanks Henneke!
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Gianfranco. Happy writing!
Thank you Henneke, I go through periods of that, thinking my writing is not good enough. It’s easy to happen after reading others posts day after day.
Then I meet with clients and realize I have a lot to teach and begin the writing again and again.
Blogging is about writing for humans and making connections along the way.
Thanks for the inspiration 🙂
Isn’t it strange how these doubts keep popping up even after several years of writing? Even in recent weeks, I was struggling and thinking I wasn’t good enough and couldn’t keep up blogging regularly. But I know if I just hang in there, I can work my way through.
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experience, Lisa. I appreciate it.
Being self-critical is a necessary part of improving. We must consider what we can do better and how we could do it differently next time. That’s how we change and make progress. The problem is when we become self – limiting.
Yes, so true. And I find I become self-limiting either because I’m worried about what people might think or because I’m stuck in a self-limiting belief like “I’m not the kind of person who writes something like this.”
Thank Henneke, I love this post, there’s just pure genuineness in writing from the heart.
Thank you so much, Grace. ?
Henneke,
I don’t always have thoughts and ideas that are worth sharing with a larger audience. As Chris Anderson says about all TED talks—you have to have an idea worth sharing.
You voice deserves to be heard if you have something of value to say. You won’t build an audience by communicating mush!
I’m not suggesting that we all have to share ideas with a big audience, like the TED talks. Neither do I think that we should have ideas to share every single week. But I do think we all have life stories, business experiences or expertise that’s helpful to others. Sometimes we only need some practice or some help to share our tips or write our stories in an engaging way. Most people read my blog because they have ideas to share but don’t know how.
Thanks Henneke. This blog post touches my heart. I’m starting a new blog in France. I LOVE your work. I want to position myself as an expert (to create blog post, i like that, yesterday yet I didn’t know it). But, first. I want people to connect with who I am. Because I’m deeply human and I definitely love the human. I want to help. Really.
Some people find it easier to share tips before sharing personal stories. That’s fine, too. I started with sharing tips, too, before I mustered the courage to share more about myself. Sharing expertise can be a way to make the initial connection and then you can deepen the connection by sharing in a more personal way.
Thank you Henneke for these valuable tips.
Hi, Henneke
I’ve returned to your blog after a while. You have taken it to the next level.
Reading this post was a pleasure.
There were many great singers who never sang and writers who never wrote. They left the world without taking their first step to becoming which they always wanted to be.
I see you here, encouraging people to make their first move.
Way to go!!
Thank you for your compliment, Sachin, and for returning to my blog again 🙂
And yes, it’s such a pity when we leave our stories untold.
I just love this. My all-time favourite quote is one from Brene:
“If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.”
Thanks for inspiring me to write more from the heart and soul than from my marketing head.
Many thanks!
Yes, that’s a great quote. Thank you for sharing.
My favorite quote is probably that vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity (slightly paraphrased). It helps me to keep going when I feel anxious.
Thank you for the courage to be vulnerable. Thank you for your willingness to always share from the heart. I have been struggling with just how to write like a human. Your post came at the right moment.
Coming from the world of academia and business writing, I have struggled and worried, really worried, that what was coming out was too trite, too contrived, too cliche.
When I did write from that personal place, I worried more because it seemed fragmented and, well, exposed. I know there is a balance somewhere. And I so appreciate your words today. They give me hope. They give me the courage to keep going at this writing thing.
I have read everything that Brené Brown has written. She does have this way of writing and speaking as though she knew how you were feeling and wanted to let you know she’d been there. Don’t give up.
I will not give up.
I feel exposed, too, when I write about myself but over time, I’ve been getting more used to it.
What helps me is to consider my intentions. Am I sharing this out of some kind of neediness? Am I whining? If the answer is yes to either of those questions, than I don’t publish it (or rather: I don’t write it). But if I feel I have a story to share that I sincerely think will be helpful to others, then I’m happy to publish it.
Brené Brown’s work is an excellent example of how to combine research reporting and personal stories.
Thank you so much for stopping by to share your experience, Kathryn. And please, keep writing! ?
The way you write. just wow!. it makes me feel like you are talking to me in person.
Thank you so much, Henneke!
Thank you, Khsushboo. I was writing for you 🙂
Dear Henneke,
I loved, loved this post today and believe it or not it was the perfect time for me to read it.
I have read and listened to Brene Brown and I really admire her work and courage.
Henneke, thank you for your blog. Your posts are heavily sprinkled with the ‘ human touch’ !
Nora x
Thank you so much, Nora. What a lovely comment.
I read “Daring Greatly” a few years ago, and, somehow, it didn’t resonate with me. I think I wasn’t ready for it. It was so good to re-read it recently. I now want to read (and re-read) her other books, too!
This is a timely post on writing humanely. I was recently wondering should I evaluate online success only in terms of money or other parameters also matter?
Your post answers my inner critic perfectly.
That is such a good question to pose ourselves. I wonder it, too, and I think it’s different for different people.
For me, it’s about connection, self-fulfillment (being happy to create something new) and also learning (discovering how to write better and also learning more about what matters to me)—that’s probably more important than money (as long as I can make a living).
But you might have come up with a different answer?
JUST what I needed today! Thank you Henneke!
Thank you. Happy writing, Andil!
Thank you, Henneke. We have to write like humans because we are writing for humans. Simple, concise, and conversationa! You’ve driven home the message clearly. Gratitude from Nigeria.
Yes, so true. We write for humans!
Thank you for stopping by, Ogonnaya. I apppreciate it. 🙂
Hey, Henneke. I have been following your work since 2019. You write very helpful posts on improving writing skills. I am not a native English speaker just like you. I want to improve my writing skills to an expert level. What do you suggest me to become an expert content writer.
The best way to improve English writing skills is to hire a language coach or proofreader. Otherwise, reading a lot (or rather: analyzing other people’s writing) and practicing a lot will help improve your writing skills. But the quickest way is always to get feedback from an expert.
You may find this post about deliberate practice useful: https://www.enchantingmarketing.com/how-to-practice-writing-skills/