Do you ever write about yourself?
And when you read your draft, do you wonder …
What will people think of me?
Am I making a fool of myself?
Is this too embarrassing?
Is this too needy?
Am I undermining my professional image?
I ask myself all those questions, too.
I find it easier to write about blogging techniques than share personal stories. Sharing personal stories guzzles up twice as much energy, perhaps even more. It doesn’t come natural to me and makes me worry more.
But I’ve learned, we can’t hide ourselves as bloggers.
When we share only “technical” tips, we become commodities. We become easily interchangeable with other bloggers sharing similar tips, and our voices get drowned out in a sea of me-too content.
To truly engage readers, we have to show them who we are. How else can we differentiate ourselves from the hundreds of providers competing for the same clients? How else can we get our readers to appreciate us as a person so they can’t wait to hire us?
As Lane Schneider commented earlier this month:
I’m planning to start my year off by unsubscribing to many blogs and newsletters, but I will never leave YOU. Because you are REAL.
How a best-selling neurologist writes about himself
Oliver Sacks is a neurologist, best known for his case studies about patients like “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat” and “Awakenings.”
In his memoir “On the Move,” he writes about his professional life but shares more personal stories, too—about his motorcycle vacations, drug-taking in his younger years, and finding the love of his life in his seventies.
This intertwining of the professional and personal shows us how we can write about ourselves while maintaining a professional image.
Want to know the three key lessons?
1. Share the small moments
Sacks’ enthusiasm for his work shines through in the small moments:
I fell in love with his face, his body, his mind, his poetry, everything about him. He would often bring me just-written poems, and I would give him some of my physiology essays in return.
Sacks is a shy person, but sometimes his enthusiasm overtakes, like here:
I almost never speak to people in the street. But some years ago, there was a lunar eclipse, and I went outside to view it with my little 20x telescope. Everyone else on the busy sidewalk seemed oblivious to the extraordinary celestial happening above them, so I stopped people, saying, “Look! Look what’s happening to the moon!” and pressing my telescope into their hands. People were taken aback at being approached in this way, but, intrigued by my manifestly innocent enthusiasm, they raised the telescope to their eyes, “wowed,” and handed it back. “Hey, man, thanks for letting me look at that,” or “Gee, thanks for showing me.”
When you write about yourself in a blog post or on your About page, think about the small moments showing who you are. At which moments do you feel most alive? When do you feel happiest? What work excites you?
When you write about what excites you, your readers sense your enthusiasm—it’s contagious.
2. Be honest, but set your own boundaries
Sacks writes with integrity, sharing both successes and failures.
He shares several blunders from his early career in academic research. For instance, he loses all his notes of 9 months of experiments as he fails to fasten his notebook with the elastic bands on his bike rack. His bosses recommend a clinical career:
A meeting was convened: no one denied my talents, but no one could gainsay my defects. In a kindly but firm way, my bosses said to me, “Sacks, you are a menace in the lab. Why don’t you go and see patients—you’ll do less harm.” Such was the ignoble beginning of a clinical career.
Sacks is also honest about his own insecurities:
I was excited—and amazed—to find myself a doctor, to have made it finally (I never thought I would, and sometimes even now, in my dreams, I am still stuck in an eternal studenthood). I was excited, but I was terrified too. I felt sure I would do everything wrong, make a fool of myself, be seen as an incurable, even dangerous bungler.
Sacks is open about many aspects of his life— his shyness, his insecurities, his guilty feelings, but that doesn’t mean he shares everything. He doesn’t, for instance, explain why he remains celibate for 35 years and that’s fine with me—I don’t need to know everything:
After that sweet birthday fling, I was to have no sex for the next 35 years.
A business blog is not a tell-all personal memoir but it’s not a dry textbook either. You can break taboos if you like but you certainly don’t have to. It’s okay to only tiptoe outside your comfort zone.
Set your own boundaries for what you want and don’t want to share. And find your own balance between professional tips and personal anecdotes.
3. Observe your own life
When you write about yourself, you need to step back sometimes: What did you learn from this experience? Why did you behave in a certain way? Which feelings were guiding you?
For instance, Sacks comments on his weight lifting:
I sometimes wonder why I pushed myself so relentlessly in weight lifting. My motive, I think, was not an uncommon one; I was not the ninety-eight-pound weakling of bodybuilding advertisements, but I was timid, diffident, insecure, submissive. I became strong—very strong—with all my weight lifting but found that this did nothing for my character, which remained exactly the same.
And he writes about the challenges of starting a relationship after a lifetime of solitude:
Deep, almost geological changes had to occur; in my case, the habits of a lifetime’s solitude, and a sort of implicit selfishness and self-absorption, had to change. New needs, new fears, enter one’s life—the need for another, the fear of abandonment. There have to be deep, mutual adaptations. For Billy and me, these were made easier by shared interests and activities; we are both writers, and this, indeed, is how we met.
The lessons in our lives are often universal; it’s how we bond with each other as human beings.
The process of writing about yourself
Sacks is open about his struggles to write. For instance, a book about an accident in which he tears a quadriceps tendon and muscle takes 9 years to write and is edited heavily by the publisher, Colin Haycraft:
I struggled with the Leg book for several more years and finally sent the completed manuscript off to Colin in January of 1983, nearly nine years after beginning it. Each section of the book, neatly typed, was on paper of a different color, though the whole manuscript was now over 300,000 words. Colin was infuriated by the sheer size of the manuscript, and its editing took virtually the whole of 1983. The final version was reduced to less than a fifth of the original size, a mere 58,000 words.
While he finds joy in writing, he also admits it’s tough:
I seem to be in one of those dry, dead depressed phases where one can only do nothing or blunder round in circles. The damn thing is that it needs only three days good work to finish the book, but I don’t know whether I am capable of this at the moment.
Sound familiar?
Everyone’s writing process is different
And you may even find that different pieces of content require different writing strategies.
I write a post with writing advice differently from a more personal post. The majority of my posts are mostly “technical:”
- I have a clear idea what question a post should answer (or what problem it should solve)
- Outlining and structuring the content is relatively easy, so my first draft is decent
- Editing focuses on adding examples (if required) and adjusting my tone so it’s engaging and not just authoritative
Personal posts (like this one about nurturing my creative courage or this one about learning to be me) take more time to write:
- My post idea is usually vague which makes outlining difficult, so I write a “discovery” draft to find out what I really want to say
- I revise to shape the narrative; often I delete the first few paragraphs (which were like a “warming-up”)
- To adjust the tone, I pay attention to engaging readers as well as eliminating any sense of self-pity
- If necessary, I add quotes or comments to add context to my personal experience
Everyone’s writing process is different. Experiment to find out what works for you.
Authenticity is not the same as your personal brand
A personal brand is what makes you recognizable, and it’s based on consistency.
For instance, the quality of my writing tips, my writing voice, my color scheme, and my cartoon character Henrietta—these all help you recognize my content as mine.
A personal brand is a carefully polished image. Authenticity is where the polish wears off to show the real “you” underneath.
This doesn’t undermine your brand, but turns you into a human being. Someone who’s approachable and real. Someone who your favorite kind of clients would love to hire.
Authenticity brings readers closer to you.
Recommended reading on writing about yourself:
How to write a sparkling About page
Why you should stop searching for your authentic voice
How to write personal stories (even if you’re shy)
Brilliant post. Being courageous enormously go to go deeper, and growing that courage, yet knowing when to stop from a professional perspective, is such a difficult part of writing. You do a beautiful job of explaining it. Thank you!
Thank you so much, Kathy. I wasn’t sure whether I was explaining it well. It’s quite a tough topic as there are no rules and everyone is different in what they like and don’t like to share about themselves. I find writing about myself one of the toughest challenges in blogging!
Thanks Henneke. Another very tasty accompaniment to my lunch. And perfectly timed as I start to think about creating a blog of my own… are you peeping at me through my webcam? 🙂
No webcam, just telepathy 😉
Good luck with starting your blog! Let me know if you have any specific questions?
Thank you 🙂
“I was excited—and amazed—to find myself a doctor, to have made it finally (I never thought I would, and sometimes even now, in my dreams, I am still stuck in an eternal studenthood). I was excited, but I was terrified too. I felt sure I would do everything wrong, make a fool of myself, be seen as an incurable, even dangerous bungler.”
This is exactly how I felt after graduating from med school. I think it’s a common feeling in my profession but yes it helps me connect.
It’s always in the back of most people’s mind I think to write that nice autobiography, but it’s eventually linking all those interesting anecdotes or experiences that makes good reading. The methods to make it concise and easy readable is excellent as usual.
Thank you Henneke.
I think it’s a common feeling beyond med school. I’ve not been to med school but recognize a similar feeling from when I graduated. I didn’t feel prepared for working in a business.
Sacks and his editors do a good job of stringing different anecdotes together. It’s an interesting read!
I love your posts! They’re the first thing I click on in my inbox if I see your name!
I find your writing style incredibly engaging, and I love the format. With a 2-year-old, it’s hard to focus on anything, but your posts are just so easy to read!
Thank you for your fantastic content!
Oh wow. Thank you so much, Brylee. That’s a big compliment! 🙂
Oh yes.
Inserting personality is like adding salt.
We don’t want our readers to remember a post for the mere fact that the verbal meal we presented was far too salty.
I like that analogy. No salt, and an article becomes tasteless. But too salty is even worse!
A good meal is balanced 🙂
I enjoy reading your posts too. I’m trying to improve my writing and reading your articles is really helpful.
Thank you, Ali. That makes me happy!
I weep and wail and gnash my teeth every time I have to write about myself. I’m writing my bio page of my new web site, and it feels like a bloodletting.
And … I’m about to sign a contract to write a BOOK, which means lots of stories about me, mixed in with research and tips and so on.
I have no idea how I’m going to survive this.
But your work, as always, is helpful, Henneke. Thanks!
Is it too early to congratulate you on the contract to write a book? What wonderful news! I’m delighted and feeling excited for you.
And of course, you’ll survive it, taking it step by step, chapter by chapter, page by page, or even paragraph by paragraph. I know we’re all different, but what helps me most when writing about myself is to write the first draft just for myself and view it as a rough draft or discovery draft. Then the next day (or a couple of days later), I try to read my draft “from a distance” as if it’s not about me but about someone else. Creating this distance helps me revise and edit my story.
Happy writing, Marcella!
Thank you! Contract signed yesterday. Whoo hoo!!
I like the idea of writing for myself first, then reading from a distance later. Thank you for that.
I’m walking like an elephant: one foot in front of the other.
Yay! Congratulations!
Keep the elephant moving. If he stops, it’s hard to get moving again, but when he keeps moving, he’ll get there step by step. 🙂
Awesome. I’ll definitely keep moving, non-stop. Thank you.
Great! Happy writing 🙂
This is off topic, but since you mentioned Henrietta, I’ve been wondering how you capture your drawings because I’ve thought about doing something to give my brand more …. character or identity.
Thanks!
Hi Jeff – Do you mean how I’m creating and uploading my drawings? I draw on paper, initially with 2H pencil (which I later erase), then with nib & ink plus colored pencils (Derwent Coloursoft). I scan the drawing, and I often have to retouch a little bit as the colored pencils leave smudges. I add the text using Corel Draw (as I happen to have this program), but many other programs exist to do this.
Yes, that’s what I meant. Sorry about that. It was at the end of the day when I wrote that and my brain may have already clocked out. 🙂
All makes sense. I used to be a landscape architect but have long since tossed all my rendering tools so I’ll have to pick up some new ones.
I don’t know much about Corel Draw but I’m sure I can search for a substitute.
Thanks!
I wouldn’t recommend Corel Draw (it’s overkill for what I need); you can probably do the same with some free tools, too.
If you want to go for colored pencils, I’m not sure how easy it is to get Derwent pencils in the US. I have also been recommended Caran d’Ache Luminance and Prismacolor Premier. I’ve not tried the latter two, but I believe they’re more popular in the US. It’s useful to buy a brand where it’s easy to replace single pencils.
And my brain likes to clock out far too early 😉
Happy drawing!
I Googled Derwent and they are available. But thanks for the reminder about Prismacolor. That’s the standard here and what I used. 🙂
A super post, Henneke,
Loved every bit of it, that took some work.
I don’t normally appreciate long blogs, but of course with you
this is simply not the case.
Thank you so much for the entertainment plus education.
It certainly is not easy to write about oneself,
writing books can create an easy way to say what’s on your mind.
🙂 <3 🙂 A.
Yes, this post was a bit longer than usual and I had cut it down quite a lot before publishing it! It was difficult to choose which quotes to use from the book.
I’m glad you enjoyed this post despite its length. Thank you for stopping by, Annamarie. I always appreciate it 🙂
Thank you for another great, informative post!
Because of the nature of my current blog—helping families recover from the loss of a child in childbirth—I’ve had to tell my story. It hasn’t always been easy, and I’ve sometimes struggled with how much (or little) to reveal. Some events I have only chosen to elude to, and some readers have asked for more details, which I find too messy and unnecessary. I think some things just need to be left to the imagination. Other readers have thanked me for my transparency in areas where I’ve divulged some behaviors I now find horrifying (to think I acted that way); but they understand the setting, grief, and emotional triggers. And they’re sympathetic and appreciative for my honesty.
I agree with you that some thing just need to be left to the imagination; we can’t always explain every detail, and we don’t want to do it either.
Grief is a difficult topic to address with sensitivity; it sounds like your readers appreciate your writing!
Thanks for the tips on how much personal information to be revealed online.
I plan to write an article to help laid-off professionals to overcome their emotional distress that I myself had to endure. I was afraid, however, of baring my soul online.
Sharing your own emotional distress and how you’ve overcome it, can help you bond with your audience who are in a similar situation. Plus it can also help readers overcome their own distress.
I was so glad to receive your email with this post link this morning. I’ve been thinking a lot about authenticity and transparency for the New Year and my direction in 2018 as a writer. My father was actually one of the ‘subjects’ of Oliver Sacks’ book: Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain, so it’s fascinating to read here of the writer’s own struggles. By the way, I really value your posts!
So far, I’ve only read the three books I mentioned in this post, but the book about Musicophilia sounds interesting, too. I might read it later this year!
There were more snippets in “On the Move” about Sacks’ writing process. One of my other favorite quotes (about going on a writers’ retreat for 30 days) which didn’t end up in this post was this: “When people asked me if my stay at Blue Mountain had been a “productive” one, I was not sure how to answer: I had one supremely productive day and twenty-nine blocked or sterile ones.”
“A personal brand is a carefully polished image. Authenticity is where the polish wears off to show the real “you” underneath.
This doesn’t undermine your brand, but turns you into a human being. Someone who’s approachable and real. Someone who your favorite kind of clients would love to hire.”
A powerful takeaway!
This comes as I roll out from a pinchy procrastination rut to pen an About Me page for my copywriting service website. I knew I wanted to show out an impeccable brand image while sprinkling a good dose of authenticity fun.
But, clearly, it’s been tough to pen my own–despite scribing them for several clients now.
Thanks Henneke. As a bubbling copywriter myself, I’ve discovered you offer incredible insights. Looking forward to your course!
Secondly, the best piecemeal of writing advice I ever got was from you.
It came in that in-depth post “99 Strong Verbs to Make your Content Pop, Fizz and Sparkle”. I have it clipped to my browser as a quick bookmark. It’s a sort of scripture I refer to whenever I feel and think my draft needs a dash of visual and engaging copy.
That has since (seriously) boost my writing flair.
“the best piecemeal of writing advice I ever got was from you”
Wow, that’s a big compliment. Thank you so much, Dennis. I’m so glad you find my advice helpful and, even better, that you’re applying it to your writing 🙂
If you’re stuck with your About Me page, you may want to check out this post: https://www.enchantingmarketing.com/how-to-write-an-about-page/
Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate it! 🙂
Brilliant!
Sacks’ writing style is amazing.
You always mesmerize me with your writing style.
I like Sacks’ books, too. I’d love to see how his original draft compares to the final versions.
And thank you for your lovely compliment, Sonia. Happy writing!
Henneke,
Simply brilliant,
Thank you
Thank you so much, Shirley! 🙂
Hi Henneke,
I enjoyed reading it. It reminded me of one of the entrepreneurial things I did when I was perhaps 10, and I mentioned it on my “About Me” page on the blog.
I respect how you discussed the nuances of a personal brand and authenticity. There are numerous things that I liked in the blog post, for instance, the way you hinted that it’s okay if you don’t want to share everything about yourself and still be on the pedestal.
So I want to say that I’m in love with your blog posts.
Thank you for what you’re doing.
Yes, I really think everyone needs to decide for themselves where to draw the line between what to share and what not to share. It’s different for everyone.
Thank you for your lovely compliment, Hassaan. I appreciate it 🙂
Hello Henneke,
You are cooking up a storm. Thank you for sharing a perfectly seasoned post. Love the power-packed 3 lessons. Especially the subtle insights how to strike a balance between over-sharing and emotionally constipated (ha!); honesty with boundaries. It is tricky to speak human 😉
My favourite Brainpoke is this morsel “Authenticity is not the same as your personal brand” – a subtle yet powerful difference. Need to mull that over some more and act on it.
Cheers and here’s to a cracking 2018!
“It is tricky to speak human”
That is so true! I find it one of the biggest challenges in blogging.
I do think a personal brand is based on who you are, but we’re all complex human beings and we can’t always communicate “on brand.” That’s how I see it, but an HR perspective on personal branding might be different?
I agree a personal brand is (should be) based on who you are as an individual!! The traditional HR perspective often focuses on the professional piece of you as a persona separate but vaguely related to who you are as a ‘whole’ person. Silo thinking – even here! The good news is that change is happening. As more leaders and individuals insist on putting the ‘human’ before the ‘resources’ – authenticity in the work space becomes a thing to be celebrated.
Hi Henneke,
There are only a handful of newsletters I look forward to. And yours is one among them.
Your blog posts are informative as well as engaging. I love your writing style. I can see, you know what you are talking about.
Like many, even I suffer from fear of writing about myself and my life. But it is inspiring to know about how others tackle it.
A good post.
Thank you for your lovely compliment, Waheeda. You put a smile on my face because it makes me happy when people look forward to my emails.
Happy writing!
Terrific post on a subject that baffles many writers – which personal stories to include, and how many of them. Your point about authenticity is great. The best writing forms moments of connection between writer and reader. Creating those moments is both frightening and inherently worthwhile.
“The best writing forms moments of connection between writer and reader. Creating those moments is both frightening and inherently worthwhile.”
I love how you’ve put that, Anne. It’s so true!
Henneke, Your articles are always so timely for me! Again, this one arrives in the nick of time as I’ve started sprinkling more personal stuff into my blog posts. My goal, hopefully, is to make the topics more engaging and fun. Mind you, this has been quite a leap, as I would prefer to stay balled up in my nice little cocoon. Keep pressing on! 🙂
I’m the same—I’d rather hide myself in a little corner, too. I’ts not easy but it’s definitely been worthwhile to come out of my shell and interact more personally with readers.
Happy writing, Penelope!
This is exactly what I struggle with as a counselor. If I share too much of myself, then the clients feel that the session is about me. If I share nothing of myself, the clients feel that I do not understand. It is walking a fine line. The same is in writing. Knowing how much to share is scary.
Yes, it’s very tricky. I’d probably be more inclined to share personal stories on a blog than in client sessions. Perhaps you can use your blog to show your expertise, build trust and allow your audience to get to know you; and then your client sessions can be more focused on clients?
Thank you for stopping by, Shirley. I appreciate it! 🙂
Wow! I thought I’m already occupied and don’t have much time; but now, I’m stuck in this truth about writing and blogging. Hooray!
Great to see you getting around the blog, Susan. I appreciate all your comments. Happy writing!
Super post Henneke once again! I’m a fiction writer as well as a fledgling business writer so I found this topic really interesting and I think you’ve nailed it! I’m not surprised at all that so many people have left comments. I’m creating my THIRD website at the moment in ten years and this time I think I’ve got the balance right between “personal brand ” and “authenticity” but the hilarious thing is I didn’t even have the terms to describe what I am trying to achieve! Thanks for giving them to me .
I find the terms “authenticity” and “personal branding” confusing, too!
I’m glad you enjoyed this post, and even happier that you’re finding the right balance for your website. That’s fab!
Thank you for stopping by.