Does selling make you feel …
Pushy?
Does the idea of having to sell make you want to run away?
When most of us think about selling, we imagine a second-hand car salesman with a cigar and a sneaky grin. Or we think of a persistent cold caller interrupting our dinner.
*shudder*
In their book Never Be Closing, Tim Hurson and Tim Dunne argue that many sales tactics are developed to sell to strangers. The purpose of these tactics “is to wrangle out a commitment to buy, even when buying may not be in the best interests of the client.”
But selling doesn’t have to be this way.
You can sell without being pushy. Without dirty tactics. Without selling your soul.
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Sales technique #1. Make customers feel special
This weekend I leafed through the Christmas catalog of UK wine merchant Laithwaites.
I didn’t order any wine (honestly!). But I felt inspired to write this post.
Below follow a few examples of how Laithwaites makes their customers feel special …
Friends-and-family exclusive from the King of Barolo
So we’re absolutely thrilled to offer you privileged access to a pure Nebbilo normally set aside for close friends and members of the Monti family.
We were the first foreign wine merchants to be invited onto the estate in the early 1980s, and we still enjoy privileged ‘local’ access.
Making people feel special is a lovable form of scarcity—a well-known persuasion technique described by psychologist Cialdini in his book Influence.
How can you make your clients feel part of an exclusive club?
Think about a hand-written thank-you card, an exclusive bonus or gift for loyal clients, or a waiting list to start working with you. Is your service worth waiting for?
Sales technique #2. Share your secrets
Wine merchants like sharing insider knowledge:
Ask a sommelier, wine critic or trade professional to name their favorite white grape and chances are they’ll say Riesling.
Burgundy is home to the world’s most prized – and priciest – Pinot Noir. Yet a few miles south you can find stunning bargains if you know where to look …
Mature, rare 1996, only £40 … but shhhh!
18 years old, full bodied and perfectly mature – uncorking this fine vintage will be an unforgettable moment for any Champagne lover. And we’ve made it a lot more affordable by striking a secret deal with the Champagne house.
When I shared my best copywriting tips in a slidedeck earlier this year, a friend commented I was giving away all my trade secrets.
But do you think I cared?
Sharing those secrets helped me gain a new audience and boost my authority.
When you tell people how to do something, you’re not undermining your position. You’re building trust. Many people don’t want to make an effort or don’t have the time to follow your instructions. They’ll call you to do it for them instead. Sharing your secrets gives you an air of confidence.
Which secrets can you share to boost your authority? And find more clients?
Sales technique #3. Tap into desires
Do you think we drink wine just to quench our thirst? Or to make our food taste better?
Think again. A wine catalog taps into deeper human desires, such as enjoyment and social approval:
We were grinning from ear to ear when we tasted this, and so will you.
Your Christmas guests will be swept off their feet by the mouthfilling richness of ripe peach and apricot flavors.
These aren’t bottles to open if you want your Christmas guests to go home any time soon!
How can you make your products more desirable? In his book Ca$hvertising, Drew Eric Whitman lists 8 basic human desires you should tap into:
- Survival, enjoyment of life, life extension
- Enjoyment of food and beverages
- Freedom from fear, pain, and danger
- Sexual companionship
- Comfortable living conditions
- To be superior, winning, keeping up with the Joneses
- Care and protection of loved ones
- Social approval
Selling a product or a service is often about a transformation. How do you make your clients feel better happier, safer, or more in control? How can you give them a sense of belonging?
Sales technique #4. Tell stories
What’s not to like about stories?
Stories transfer us to a different world. They let us visualize a specific scene or experience a journey.
Stories are compelling and entertaining. And that’s why sales messages travel under the radar. Here’s an example from the Laithwaites catalog:
They are a patient lot in Pomerol – it’s essential for making wines that are “absolute in wine seduction” (Decanter).
But after nine years of wondering when Laithwaite’s were going to collect the wine we bought in 2005, finally the winemakers snapped and called our Bordeaux buyer, Jean-Marc.
“What wine?” Jean-Marc said, jumping in his car to Pomerol. He found a dropdead gorgeous 2003 ready to ship for Christmas … blushes, yes, but also huge excitement!
It had been secured by our old Bordeaux buyer in 2005, just before her maternity leave. A tidy price was agreed, but the paperwork never reached HQ. (For the record, her baby is now a cheeky 9-year-old boy … time flies.)
How can you include stories on your web pages? A few ideas:
- Turn drab case studies into engaging business stories
- Explain on your about page why or how you started your business
- Include mini-stories in your blog posts to add personality
Sales technique #5. Be lovable
In a world of yellow highlighters and websites shouting BUY NOW!, it’s easy to forget that selling is about people.
But as Cialdini has pointed out, we’re more likely to say yes to someone we know and like.
When leafing through the wine catalog, I notice smiling images of the company’s founder (with a glass of wine or champagne of course!). The opening page includes a “personal” letter with a hand-written signature.
The wine catalog is full of snippets of information about winemakers, their family connections, and photos of real winemakers harvesting grapes or tasting wine.
How can you make your web visitors feel closer to you?
- Ditch clichéd stock photography and include photos of real people
- Give readers a glimpse of who you are in your blog posts
- Add your signature to your about page
- Eradicate gobbledygook and be conversational
How to sell without becoming sleazy
Dirty sales tactics are designed for selling to strangers.
But thanks to the internet, the world is becoming a global village. We make friends across the world. And we buy from people and businesses we know, like, and trust.
Treat your buyers like friends.
Be genuine. Be helpful. Be lovable.
Make their life better.
“(…) selling is not about the art of persuasion. Instead, the best kind of selling emerges naturally from your genuine interest in the person you’re working with and your sincere desire to be of use”
~ Tim Hurson and Tim Dunne (from their book Never Be Closing)
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Recommended reading on writing sales copy:
11 copywriting tips to write seriously persuasive copy
Use the So What? trick to translate features into benefits
20+ writing examples: Discover how to emulate good writing
Refreshing. Being in an industry with a reputation for being pushy or “hit and run” (Car Sales) I’ve had to struggle (mostly with my managers) to allow for genuine connection and attraction rather than “assault”. At first I had to find a balance, now they are beginning to trust it works. (For me at least).
Great to hear that a less pushy approach works in car sales, too! Thank you for stopping by, Robin.
Hello Henneke!!Greetings from Brazil. I start my journey as salesperson few weeks ago and my biggest desire were to not be pushy and I read a lot of tips and techniques of sale but nothing were soul touching like this one, I really felt the love you feel for what you do and that’s something. Unfortunately I don’t know English that much to express better but I can say I’m so glad I found your post, your site and “you”. Is like stepping into a nice, warm and cozy coffee shop and receive a beautiful smile from the stranger person sitting in front. Though I learned through the comments here that “there no are strangers”. Happy New Year!
Hello Marcia, thank you so much for stopping by to leave a comment. You put a smile on my face. I especially love how you put this: “Is like stepping into a nice, warm and cozy coffee shop and receive a beautiful smile from the stranger person sitting in front.”
Happy selling, and best wishes for 2018!
Such a brilliant article!! This form of sales technique can be applied to any business, thankfully even my own which is wedding photography. I look forward to applying some of the tips to my site today. Thanks again
Great. Happy selling, Jay!
As the seasonal catalogs (Christmas and gardening) keep rolling in, I have been reading through vastly different eyes! 😉
I hope you’re enjoying it! 🙂
Henneke,
This is awesome. I knew I liked you! I love learning from the marketing successes and mistakes that others make. Who needs a fancy degree when opportunities for learning are all around us? (Unless you have one, in which case, hooray for you, that’s even better!)
I absolutely agree that you have to meet those needs you listed if you want people to feel inspired to buy, share or whatever results we’re hoping them to achieve for us. I like the idea of those special personal touches and of course, exclusive secrets as gifts. You’ve certainly given me a lot to think about!
Thank you!
Brittany
I’m a learning junkie, so I do have a couple of degrees. But I’ve learned most from doing and making mistakes, and occasionally a course for polishing a specific skill.
Thank you for stopping by again, Brittany. 🙂
Henneke,
Truly awesome post. And to think, it was inspired by a Christmas catalog.
The saying is true. You can certainly find inspiration anywhere. I love this post. If you’re writing copy or selling something, sharing your secrets … or giving the impression that you’re sharing something secretive is a huge win. We all want to know secrets. So I agree, that’s truly a great tactic.
But what I like the most, and I know I’ve mentioned this to you in previous posts, is the telling stories part. That example you gave really made me want to read more … and I’m not even a wine aficionado lol. But it goes to show you how simple stories can really pack a punch to anything we write.
Awesome post.
Thank you, Andrew, and thank you for be a loyal commenter.
This is my favorite line from the brochure:
“We were grinning from ear to ear when we tasted this, and so will you.”
Even if you don’t like wine, you might want to get a few wine catalogs – they’re excellent material to study and to improve your writing.
🙂
Looking forward to reading your book. My blogging skills are zilch, so you’ve got me excited to learn.
Excitement to learn is the best way to learn!
I hope you’ll enjoy the book, Charles. Thank you for buying.
What a helpful, informative, and important post. Those who embrace it and use its teachings may find it to be a game-changer. Thank you!
Thank you, Bill! 🙂
Great post, Henneke.
I am close to releasing my FREE eCourse and keep wondering whether I’m giving away too much information (Technique #2). Will people still want to buy my book?
I know deep down that the answer is ‘yes’. After all, look at you. I read everything that you write and still look forward to purchasing your products.
I’ve also had a little difficulty overcoming Technique #5 and posting a picture of myself on my home page (I’ll let you know when it’s live). What if my potential customers don’t like the way I look? Will I look too fat or too bald (I really don’t give a crap about that one)?
That’s stupid thinking too. After all – I’ve been married for 41 years to a very attractive woman. So I can’t be all that bad.
You continue to give me confidence as I get ready for my first product launch. Thanks for all that you do.
Exciting to hear you’re nearly ready to launch, Bill
And I’m always happy to see your face pop up in the comments – you look friendly and approachable. Someone I’d like to buy from. It’s not about being blond, or dark, or bald, it’s about the human connection. It immediately makes your site more personable when you add your picture. Please add it!
Looking forward to hearing about your launch! 🙂
I guess I lucked out. I never met a stranger. For forever I raised money for a University. Oddly enough it was never about the money. It was always about the relationship/relationships. Never be closing is real.
P.S. Rarly do people, even in the context of generosity, “give” money away. They do invest it. It was fascinating to discover what a donor expected in return for their contribution. Hint, they didn’t want stuff.
You never met a stranger?
Henneke,
In the southern part of the U.S. to include Tx. the statement, ” He/She never met a stranger, ” is a complimentary colloquialism, probably a metaphor, that describes a person who is a highly relational individual & friendly, who can and will talk to anyone, anywhere. It has as much to do with the willingness to listen as it does with the willingness to talk. It is based on respect. I’ve heard that statement all my life. I can imagine now how strange it sounded when it is heard literally.
On another level though, while I meet people whom I don’t know, I assume some basic things about ever person I do meet. The two of us are aware of the experince of fear, hope, anger, love, desire, confusion, anticipation and the litney that makes us human reguardless of the place of origin, language, customs or traditons. Be still, don’t rush. Listen. Risk the opening line of a conversation and I find it a rare person that won’t follow through with a conversation. Basically, I start in the middle of a relationship with any person I meet. I start with respect. It can develop or derail from there. But, I like you to start with. It really is hard for me to meet a stranger.
Ah, now I understand what you mean. I like that idea!
And I agree – in most cases it’s good to start with respecting someone. I can always change my mind and decide I don’t like them later on, can’t I?
I’ve noticed that here in the North of the UK, sometimes when people haven’t seen you for a while (and when they think they should have seen you sooner), they’d say “Hi, stranger!”. It’s like the opposite approach. Perhaps almost a little unfriendly, but as far as I’ve experienced it’s never meant in a bad way.
Thank you for stopping by again, Curtis.
🙂 “I can always change my mind and decide I don’t like them later on, can’t I?”
And, “later on” can be no longer than a heart beat away.
I always keep the title of Larry McMurtry’s book in the back of my mind. ” All My Friends Are Gong to Be Strangers”
For me telling stories, and specifically personal stories is hard.
But it’s the best way for readers to relate to what you write.
It makes it personal. They feel you’re writing specifically for them. And that what helps me persevere. To rewrite my story until it’s right.
Jameson get their stories right (45 sec.): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF2IaDQa2c8
Makes you want to grab a shot.
Writing personal stories isn’t as hard as it seems. You can use your story as an example for something you want to help your readers with.
The key with telling a story is to include only the relevant details . Especially when we’re telling a personal story, we tend to include details that feel important to us, but that are irrelevant to communicate our idea to our readers.
Good point. I should remember to edit out all the irrelevant parts. So the story is more compelling.
Thanks Henneke.
Great points Henneke.
The topic of sales is a constant challenge, but definitely has a right and a wrong way, easily measured by the success rate.
Thanks for the information.
Yep, that’s absolutely true. Sales are easy to measure.
Thank you for stopping by again, Barry.
Selling to friends is a lot easier. And you’ve included some great strategies for turning potential customers into friends first, then customers. It’s what Chris Garrett calls Attraction, Engagement, Sales. With the Engagement part taking as long or as short a time as it takes. Rather than the traditional dinnertime sales tactics of Attraction – Sales.
Friends stay customers for longer. They buy more too.
Your mini-story strategy the one I like. Oh, and yes, a very lovable sketch. Reminds me of the illustrations in my Dr. Seuss books. Great stuff!
Thank you for your kind words, Tom.
Don’t we all hate the dinnertime sales tactics? Attract attention by interrupting my dinner and then immediately plunging into a sales pitch? Brrr. *shiver*
I like the way Chris Garrett phrases it – Attraction, engagement, sales.
Yes, that does sound like a great catalogue. Did you find out who wrote it?
I assume they have their own in-house team, but I’m not sure. They produce a lot of direct mail stuff (monthly catalogs, sales letters with special offers). I even received a letter to announce that the Christmas catalog would arrive soon – unfortunately, the letter arrived the day after the catalog.
Catalogs are a great opportunity to study copywriting. 🙂
Henneke, a fabulous post here covering a real recipe for selling success.
So true that selling to strangers is different than selling to those that know you. Those that know you may be “strange” to you but not you to them in a connected world. If you do the work.
I have sold to strangers for many years. Some remained so, some became acquaintances but all those did so at their intent. A great result of selling to strangers is the friends I have made, and most of those started as strangers to me.
I’ll agree we shouldn’t need to sell to those that don’t know us as much anymore. The approach you chronicle is surely a base of strategies and tactics to work from which is as good as any today. Important because in sales you need a plan and an approach.
Don’t be in sales, act as one.
I’ll add to the thread by noting that goals and purposeful selling must be present in your mind.
Your goals. Your purpose.
Goals direct. Purpose clarifies your will. You’ll need will, online or face to face.
You’ll need to know why you do what you do so you can remind yourself and communicate that with others.
Interesting that the sales process helped you turn strangers into friends!
I agree with you that you need a plan and a structured approach – we can’t simply try to be friends and hope we’ll sell. You need to know who you’re selling to, understand what they’re struggling with, and how you can help.
Good to see you again, Vincent 🙂
Vincent, that wine catalogue was adressed to strangers nonetheless!
You are knowledgeable and brilliant,
Thank you for your fearless sharing and
please say hello to the loving giraffe
Thank you for your kind words. You made me smile. In reality, under my shiny mask, I’m a wimp 😉
The giraffe asked me to send you a kiss, Shirley 🙂
Oh, my goodness! I could recognize all these sales techniques in other catalogs I buy from, and also in much of your work. Best of all, I think I have been doing this, which may partly explain when my rates of follow-through are higher, right?
When I’ve told a story, often it’s about tiny glimpses into my life or my troubles. Folks seem more eager to connect to a real person, don’t they? That is one thing I love about your site, that feeling of knowing a real person, being “in on” personal secrets, etc.
One seed merchant I’ve bought from for years always photographs his huge dahlias in the hands of one of his daughters. Time passes and amazingly this child has grown to become one of the vice-presidents of the company. I certainly want to buy from her, since I almost feel as if she is my own daughter or niece. 🙂 It’s that insider feel, you know. only a feeling, but so strong a tie!
A lady in England is waiting for my next post about the baby chicks we just bought. They will have more wing feathers in today’s photographs, and she is so anxious to see them again. Just as you say, the connection is there, has very little to do with either of our products, but is that human connection we all long for.
Thanks for these great insights!
That’s a wonderful story about the seed merchant showing photos of dahlias in the hands of one of his daughters! That’s such a great way to add personality and to show you’re a family business. I read so often about “we’re a friendly family business” – as if being a family business is enough to prove you’re a good business.
Sounds like you’re a natural sales person, Katharine! 🙂
Love the voluptuous giraffe!
As a kid, I was fascinated by giraffes and their long necks.